True Friendship (Ruth 1.6-22)

Introduction

Last Sunday we began a series of six talks on the Book of Ruth that will take us through to the end of August.

If you weren’t here last Sunday you missed the start of the story which is set in the dark and difficult days when the Judges ruled, Israel had no king and everyone did as they saw fit. The story begins unpromisingly with a series of disasters; a famine, the death of Naomi’s husband Elimelek, the intermarriage with Moabite women (not God’s people) of her two sons, and then their death soon afterwards.

The Story Continues…

But now we get a series of events in which things start to turn for the better. Naomi hears that there’s bread again in her native land. Verse 6 says that Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them. So for the rest of chapter 1, with her life seemingly ruined beyond repair, Naomi prepares to go back home to Israel. Orpah and Ruth, her two daughters-in-law, widows too of course, plead with Naomi to stay with them in Moab, but her mind is made up.

Between v8 and v14 Naomi begs her daughters in law to stay in Moab, not two or three times, but five times.

Let’s count them; number 1 - v8; “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the Lord show kindness to you.”

Number 2 - v9; “May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”

They burst into tears. They can’t believe this is the end. “No, we’ll go with you” they say. They love each other.”

Number 3 - v11; “Go home my daughters. Why would you come with me? I’ve got nothing to give you. You’re better off without me.”

Number 4 - v12; “Return home my daughters! It’s over for me. I’ll just be a burden to you.”

Then number 5 - v13; “No, my daughters! The Lord’s hand has turned against me.”

Orpah and Ruth burst into tears again. They’ve been through so much together over the last ten years. They’ve hugged each other at their husbands’ funerals, they’ve wept themselves dry in each other’s arms as tragedy upon tragedy hit their lives.

But Orpah gets the hint. She stays in Moab, maybe to host a successful chat show and become an international superstar. Humanly speaking, Orpah makes the right choice. Minimise risk. Stick with what you know. She goes back to security.

But never put your trust in human wisdom. This is the last time Orpah’s name is mentioned in the Bible. From that minute onwards, she leaves the sphere of God’s blessing and God’s purposes - never to return.

Despite all appearances to the contrary, it’s Ruth who chooses wisely. She sticks with her crestfallen old, foreign mother-in-law Naomi. She may be penniless, homeless, joyless, childless and hopeless, but Ruth refuses to allow Naomi to leave friendless.

Naomi says, “Go back to your home.”

Ruth replies, “No, I want to back to your home.”

Naomi says, “Go back home, otherwise you’ll never be secure, you’ll always have to live off charity.”

Ruth replies, “I don’t care, I’m standing by you anyway.”

Naomi says, “Go back home. Go back to your gods.”

And Ruth says, “Look! I don’t want my gods anymore. I want your God.”

This is, in New Testament terms, the moment Ruth is born again. She becomes a child of God. The family of her birth becomes less important to her than her family of new birth.

Ruth shows more eloquently than anyone can say it that church is not an organisation that you join; it is a family where you belong.

There was a survey last year that was reported in all the national newspapers. It showed that the church is actually the most socially diverse group in the entire United Kingdom. In the church we are male and female. We are black and white. We are rich and poor. We are old and young. We are single and married. We are highly educated and unschooled.

Pete Greig from Prayer 24/7 said recently, “The whole point of church is being with people who are different to you. If you just want to hang out with left-handed butterfly collecting thrash metal enthusiasts, use the Internet! You will find them; there are probably five or six of them out there. But the church is not niche community; it is messy, broad, and diverse because in loving each other across our cultural differences, we show that Jesus is alive and that one day every tribe and every tongue will come together and confess that he is Lord.”

Ruth got that! She saw something special in Naomi, something else. She felt that there was something missing in her own heart that, even in her mother-in-law’s tragedy, somehow shone through and became compelling for her.

Never underestimate the awesome power of your witness in the way God sustains you through adversity.

So Ruth says, v16. “Please don’t urge me to leave you or turn back. Wherever you go, I’ll go too. Wherever you live, that’s where I’ll stay. Your people are going to be mine, and your God is now my God. I’m not going away. This is till death us do part, so help me God.”

These words are so simple yet so beautiful, so exquisite, that some people use them as their wedding vows. What amazing loyalty. What incredible faith. True friendship is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

What is it that makes Ruth say what she says?  Why would she change a more secure future, where she has every possibility of rebuilding her life, for uncertainty in a strange country, where, because she is a foreigner, she will most likely be disadvantaged until she dies? What clinches it for her?

I think the answer lies in what Naomi says to her beforehand in v8-13. She sends her daughters-in-law home. Why? Because she loves them.

Despite her dead-end decisions, her bad choices and her foolish running away, the God of Israel is still Naomi’s God. Naomi doesn’t believe in their idols, these Moabite gods. She says so in v8. “May the Lord show kindness to you” and in v9; “May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest.”

Naomi doesn’t think, “Oh well, all religions lead to God, it doesn’t really matter which god you pray to in the end.” She tells them that if they’re going to be blessed, the blessing is going to have to come from the Lord.

And yet she sends them back anyway. Why? Because she is more concerned for Orpah and Ruth's welfare than for her own. She’s got nothing. She’s broke. She has no security, no capital, no prospects. She needs help. But she is so full of love and compassion for her daughters-in-law that she is ready to reduce her own chances of survival for their good.

That’s why Ruth says, “I’m going with you!” She is saying, in effect, “If your God can give you a love so strong, so selfless, so sacrificial, so generous, when you’re in desperate straits yourself, then I want your God to be my God too.”

So they make their way to Bethlehem, Naomi’s home town, a journey of about 50 miles. When they arrive Naomi causes quite a stir.

Verse 19: “Can this be Naomi?” they say. I read that to mean that Naomi has aged badly. Well, you would wouldn’t you, if you’d been through what she went through. Naomi means “pleasant” or “sweet” but, in v20, she says call me Mara which means “bitter.” “I went away pretty and pleasant and sweet - and now I’ve got a face like I'm sucking a lemon.”

And I want you to notice this; Naomi doesn’t say “Oh, I’m fine” when she patently is not. She is real. She is honest. She doesn’t put on a mask and pretend. This is what church should be like. Authentic community where real friends can tell the truth to each other, masks down, walls down.

“How are you today?” How many times in church do you hear, “Honestly, my life is hell today. I am struggling with what’s going on around me and wondering if God is really good. I need support. Pray for me, help me.”

I love it that Naomi is not too proud to admit frankly that she’s in a dark place. She’s not the type who wouldn’t be seen dead asking for prayer ministry.

She is in a bad place. In v21 she shows how skewed her thinking has become. Who is ultimately responsible for her tragedy? She says “It’s God’s fault.”

Not hers? Not her husband’s? Not the ones who rebelled against God, who wandered off to Moab, who left God’s people without seeking guidance, without prayer, and without any sense of calling or leading from the Lord?

I know many people who have come to me in exactly the place where Naomi is here. They say, “OK, I made some terrible choices. I messed up. I wandered away from the Lord. I backslid. But why did God let it happen? Why didn’t God stop me? God could have stepped in but he didn’t. He has ruined my life.”

Is that where you are today? Today, like for Naomi here, could be the day when things start to turn. With God, there is no such thing as a hopeless case. Naomi is back in Bethlehem and what she’s about to discover is that good things come from Bethlehem…

Here, at the end of chapter 1 Naomi is bitter, disappointed, poor, homeless and wretched.

But look up! Ruth is there, by her side, and there’s food.The famine is over.  It’s the beginning of barley harvest. That’s a first ray of hope in this book. Things are starting to turn. What might God have in store?

By the end of chapter 2, Naomi is full of hope, she’s got food on her plate, and she’s got a roof over her head. And it’s going to get even better than that. We’ll see what happens to effect that transformation next week.

Ending

But, as I end, I want to share the very interesting and wonderful story of Michael Duncan that I heard last year at New Wine, because it shows two things; 1) that true, generous friendship is a gift of God to the church for the world and 2) that God still transforms the most hopeless lives imaginable.

Michael is a theologian and lecturer at Carey Theological College in Auckland, New Zealand. He has written some important books on mission and new forms of church.

In the early 1970s he got very involved with LSD. This was while he was at university and he did his exams with his mind completely bombed out on hallucinogenic drugs which produced some fairly weird outcomes and he was eventually kicked out before he finished his degree.

Then for several years his life just spiralled down into crime, more drugs, debts and depravity. He ended up living on the streets. He was homeless for two years and made his money for drugs by selling drugs to others and he became one of the biggest dealers on the southern island of New Zealand.

He says he has no memory of two whole years of his life, so stoned was he on LSD. Even now, 30-40 years on, he meets people from those days who fill in the blanks.

In the days when he was hanging round this park in Christchurch a man would come and preach in the park at lunchtime. Michael would just sit there and listen to him - and he was drawn to what he said. He couldn’t understand why he found him so compelling. Were the drugs that good that he enjoyed listening to an open-air preacher? To this day, he doesn’t really know, but the attraction to this man’s message was like a moth to a flame.

They got to know each other a bit and began to talk together and share life. And after some time the preacher said to him, “Follow me.” And he took Michael back to his own flat. He reached up to a shelf, took a bag, put a few clothes in it, and he said, “The room is yours and everything in it. I may see you sometime” and then walked out.

And here was Michael. His head messed up by LSD, homeless for two years, and now he’s been given a furnished room, a bed, a bath. And there on the table was a Bible and he began to read it. And as he read this Bible he was drawn irresistibly to Jesus – and as he did, his dependence on drugs steadily declined.

Finally, he came to a point where he believed that Jesus was the Son of God, who had indeed died for his sins, that Jesus really would forgive him, and turn his life around (like he did to practically everyone he met in the gospels), if only he would give his life to him – yet for nine months he hesitated to give his whole life to Jesus. Should I? Or shouldn’t I give everything to this Jesus?

Then one day in 1976 he came to a decision. This is how he puts it: “In that room that was given to me, I got down on my knees and said ‘I now pledge my loyalty to King Jesus, and my life will now be governed by an obedience that will come before all other obediences. There will now occur an allegiance shift at the very core of my being.”

At that point, a wind filled the room. The windows were shut. But the breath of God came and it came into him.

This is the saving encounter with God we pray for for Annabel. Her baptism today will do her no good on judgement day unless she makes a personal step of faith in Jesus Christ.

Are there people here today who need to settle their commitment to Jesus Christ as King and Saviour?

Let’s pray…

Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 31 July 2016

Bereft and Bereaved (Ruth 1.1-5)

Introduction

We’re beginning a series of six talks on the Book of Ruth this morning that will take us through to the end of August.

The German poet Goethe called Ruth “the loveliest complete work on a small scale ever written.” And I think I would agree with him.

Ruth is one of just two books in the Bible that are named after women, the other one being Esther. Both are at least partly set in a foreign land, both involve a crisis, both carry the threat of death, and both are romances, which both end happily ever after. Apart from that, they’re totally different...

As we know, romances don’t always end well. Apparently on Twitter this week someone said, “I'm tweeting to say I sent you an email explaining my voicemail about a note I left saying I'm leaving you because we don't talk anymore.”

Romances can be stressful for parents. The comedian John Bishop said recently, “Watching your daughter being collected on her first date feels like handing over a million pound Stradivarius to a gorilla.”

Background

The story of Ruth begins by setting out the historical context. It was, says v1, “in the days when the Judges ruled” which was a period of time between about 1,200BC to 1,000BC.

If you have your Bible open at Ruth 1, you can just glance over at the previous page and see that the very last verse of Judges gives you a concise summary of what it was like to live at that time; “In those days” it says, “Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.”

They did. It was a dark and difficult time. It was marked by national spiritual drift, with one crisis after another. It was a godless time. It was a time of corruption, and spiralling violence and sexual promiscuity. People didn’t care very much at all about looking to see what God wants. They just went around doing whatever they pleased.

It was a time in so many ways like our own.

Paradox 1: Famine in the House of Bread

And v1 tells us that at one particular point in the period of the Judges the land was struck by famine. Food became scarce. Prices shot up. It became difficult even to put daily bread on the table.

Was it just that there happened to be a couple of bad harvests? Was it simply “one of those things”? Or was this a sign of God’s discipline? Remember what God had said in Deuteronomy 28 when he set out for Israel the terms and conditions for dwelling in the land he gave them. He said; “If you do not fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow his commandments… you will sow much seed in the land but you will harvest little.”

There’s no question in my mind that this was a small famine sent by God to correct his wayward people and bring them back to their senses.

Here’s a multiple choice question for you: When life takes a bad turn do you: a) phone a friend and talk it through

b) lay the situation before God and ask him to step in

c) concoct a man-made solution and walk away

A certain man from Bethlehem, we read, goes for option c). He decides to take his wife and two children and leave for a neighbouring land. Notice that there is no trace of him seeking God or praying for provision.

There are three paradoxes in the first five verses of this book and the first one is this: Bethlehem is surrounded by fertile wheat and barley fields. It’s a place of agricultural abundance. Bethlehem actually means ‘house of bread’ but people were starving to death there. Moab is only about 50 miles away; it’s an arid, barren country the other side of the Dead Sea, but everything seems to have been perfectly well there.

Why did Elimelek take his family off to, of all places, Moab? This was a nation born in incest (you can read about that in Genesis 19) and it had a reputation for depravity. They worshiped a fertility god called Chemosh and even sacrificed children to him. At this time the Moabites were enemies of Israel and they often raided the land and plundered it. They were neighbours from hell. Why would you want to move your family there?

Because in those days, Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit. And when you do as you see fit, without looking to God, you tend to come up with bad ideas.

Paradox 2: My God is King but He Isn’t

Here’s the second paradox. Elimelek means ‘My God is King’. But he acts like he is king. There is no hint of living by faith, or seeking God’s face, or crying out for deliverance. Elimelek doesn’t even think about relying on God. He devises a human solution to his immediate problem.

We understand, don’t we? This is so human. Who hasn’t gone down this road before? With our prayer tank empty, leaving us running on fumes, we think we can manage fine by ourselves. Elimelek looks for a human answer to his family’s difficulties but it just leads him, literally, to a dead-end.

“Trust in the Lord”, says Proverbs 3.6, “with your whole heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will your paths straight.”

But Elimelek and Naomi do lean only on their own understanding. They think they can straighten their path by themselves.

So they emigrate with their two boys to Moab. They sever their ties with God’s people and they desert the land of milk and honey that God had promised them, thinking they can do better elsewhere.

But listen, it’s not by leaving God’s people and turning your back on the arena of his blessing that problems vanish. That makes it worse.

Let me ask you a direct question. Are you fed up being in the place that God has placed you? Do you have the feeling that, spiritually and emotionally, you haven’t got enough to feed you and sustain you? Are you disappointed, or dissatisfied? Are you tempted to look for greener grass elsewhere, to wander away from his call on your life?

The Bible scholar Matthew Henry says, “It is evidence of a discontented, distrustful, unstable spirit, to be weary of the place in which God has set us, and to be for leaving it immediately whenever we meet with any uneasiness or inconvenience.”

I have known many Christians shaken in their faith by adversity. Most stay on track and come through it stronger. They look for opportunities to pray with others, they don’t quit God’s house, they make sure they seek out and enjoy quality time with other believers. They make sure their exhausted souls are replenished with grace.

But tragically others drift away. Like Elimelek and Naomi, they try to manage on their own, but they end up wandering off from God’s presence and isolate themselves from the community of his people.

Let me tell you about a disillusioned, tired and burned out missionary who walked into a church about 15 years ago. He didn’t really want to be there. He didn’t care to get involved in a church like this particular one, but he knew instinctively that it was not good to make a habit of missing church so he turned up and sat at the back.

Against all expectations, the service did him a power of good; it was really good preaching (also from Ruth incidentally) and well-led sung worship. He had wanted to be anonymous, but he had been so blessed he felt he really should say thank you on the way out.

Well, the service leader at the door got talking with him for a few minutes, and the conversation finished like this; “You know, we’re looking for someone exactly like you for a new ministry post starting in three weeks’ time. Why don’t you send us your CV?” The church was St Michael’s Paris, the burned out missionary was me and needless to say, I did join their ministry team and had many happy, fruitful years there.

And I learned something that day. When everything seems to be against you, and when God seems distant and silent, and when you’re discouraged and demotivated, put yourself in the place where God is most likely to bless you; a church, in his presence, under his word, and among his people.

So Elimelek means “God is King” but he was king of his own life. Naomi means “pleasant or sweet.” And it seems she was.

Mahlon and Kilion, their two sons, have the weirdest names. Their names mean “Sickly” and “Poorly.” It’s like me introducing you to my two boys, Birdflu and Salmonella. They’ve got a sister on the way, we’re thinking of calling her Ebola.

You might like the names Mahlon and Kilion. You might think they sound cool. But they’re not good names. Maybe think of something else if you’re expecting a baby or getting a pet.

Paradox 3: They Move to Avoid Death and Die

And here’s the third paradox. Elimelek takes his family into Moab as a strategy to escape death and what happens? He dies.

Notice it doesn’t say how he dies. It doesn’t tell you if he had a heart attack or got cancer or fell off a roof, or got run over. It just says that he died. No one will ever know how or why.

This is the one question we usually ask when someone dies isn’t it? “Why?” We always want to know why but we don’t always get to find out. There are mysteries in God we will never plumb the depths of. There are puzzles and riddles in life we will never solve. 1 Corinthians 13 says “We know in part.” One day, in eternity, we will understand fully. Deuteronomy 29.29 says, “The secret things belong to the Lord.” We all live with questions that we will take to the grave unanswered.

But what I do know is that these kinds of sorrows are often crossroads in our lives which either drive us to God or lure us away from him. John Ortberg says that if you ask atheists why they don’t believe in God, the number one reason will be suffering. But if you ask people who do believe in God when were the times they grew most spiritually, the number one answer will be when I came through a period of suffering.

Horatio Spafford lived in Chicago at the end of the 19^th Century. He invested most of his money in property. He had a son and four daughters. His son died of a fever in 1870. Then lost everything he had in the Great Fire of Chicago the following year, 1871. It destroyed his home. They had no house insurance and he lost everything he owned.

Two years later, he put his wife and their four remaining children on a French ocean liner called Ville du Havre for England while he stayed behind briefly delayed by pressing business. Just a few days after the ship left dock, on November 22, it collided with the English ship Lochearn and sank in just twelve minutes. All four of their daughters drowned. He received a telegramme from his wife: “Saved alone. What shall I do?”

He quickly boarded the next ship to England, and as it passed over the very same place in the Atlantic Ocean where his beautiful girls had perished, he wrote down some words which became a famous old hymn: “When peace, like a river attends my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, you have taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul.”

Romans 8 talks about groaning and grieving. This is the human condition. We suffer loss and affliction. We groan and we grieve. But it says that both will be surpassed and God will replace them with gladness and glory. And it says that what is to come, for those who love the Lord, will far, far outweigh the current suffering. In fact, in Romans 8.17-30, Paul mentions suffering twice, sighing three times, but glory four times.

And if you today are stuck in the valley of the shadow of death – and I know some of you are – honestly, you may never know why your loved one died instead of being healed. But as Martyn Lloyd-Jones used to say, “Don’t let the things you don’t know spoil the things you do know.”

What you do know is that God is always good, your Father is eternally for you, Jesus is Lord, the Holy Spirit is your comforter, there is nothing that can separate you from his love, the devil is under Jesus’ feet, he’s soon going to be under ours too, the Bible is true, death has lost its sting, Christ has overcome, his yoke is easy and his burden is light and grace is sufficient for you.

Don’t let the things you don’t know spoil the things you do know.

Grief Upon Grief

For Naomi, it’s not over. In v4 her sons marry outside the people of God. That was not totally forbidden like intermarrying with Canaanites was, but it was never God’s ideal. It was unwise and ill advised, like marrying unbelievers is for Christians. But Mahlon and Kilion got absorbed into the pagan culture around them. Everyone did as they saw fit. They let go of their God, who had delivered them from slavery in Egypt, to adopt the idols of Moab.

For any Christian parent, it is heart-breaking to watch your children drift away from the Lord. Never give up. Keep praying for them. The majority of people I have seen come to faith at Alpha turned out to have had some kind of Christian experience or acquaintance in the past. Never underestimate the awesome power of a praying parent who never gives up.

In v5 it’s rock bottom. The two sons die too. And Naomi is bereft.

I don’t believe there is any human experience more upsetting than having to bury your own children. I’ve seen the pain on parents’ faces as they watch a small coffin lower down into a grave. It haunts you for months.

Her husband was her breadwinner and he’s dead. Her sons would have assumed the role of providing for her instead. They’re dead too. She is destitute and penniless. She’s now too old to have more children who could, one day, look after her. Her parents are probably dead as well, either from old age or in the famine. There’s no social provision for childless widows - at all. She has no income, no savings, and no pension. And she’s stranded in a foreign country.

And all because she and her husband just did as they saw fit, and left the Promised Land. Now she has no one from her own country or her own faith to meet with, to talk to, to pray with, or to minister to her.

Ending

We’ll pick up the story next week – I’m glad to say it gets a bit brighter as it goes on.

But let me leave you with some words another man from Bethlehem, one who never did as he saw fit but only what he saw his heavenly Father doing, one who said his food was to do the will of God, one who knew grief more than anyone else, a man of sorrows familiar with suffering, one whose heart went out to a bereft widow about to bury her son and who said, "Don't cry" and then raised him to life, one who overcame death for good and will finally put an end to it - something he might say to you this morning. Why don’t you open up your heart to receive?

Jesus would say to you today:

If you never felt pain, how would you know that I am a Healer?

If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I am a Consoler?

If you never were broken, how would you know that I can make you whole?

If you never suffered, how would you know what I went through for you?

Let’s pray…

Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 24 July 2016

A Cord of Three Strands (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12)

On the happy occasion of Megan and Jonathan' marriage

At every wedding I officiate at, I like to do a general knowledge quiz. And the quiz is basically about how much you generally know one another. Like Mr and Mrs.

So here’s what we’re going to do. You each have two shoes, your own shoe and one of your fiancés. I want you to face away from each other and hold up the shoe of the person you think I am talking about.

For example if I ask “who buys the best presents?” if Jonathan thinks he does, he has to lift up his own shoe. If he thinks Megan does, he has to lift up her shoe – and likewise for Megan.

And we’ll all see how well you think you know each other. This should be good for a laugh for everyone else. So are you ready?

Who is the best cook?

Who’s the better driver?

Who’s the first one to get up in the morning?

Who spends the most time in front of the mirror?

Who’s in charge of the TV remote?

Who talks the most?

Who’s the most likely to get lost?

Who’s the most likely to ask for directions?

Who is on their mobile phone the most?

Who was the first to say “I love you”?

Who’s the first to make up after an argument?

Who started the argument in the first place?

And finally, who do you love the most in the whole wide world?

OK, very good… No you can turn round. Jonathan and Megan; I’ll be honest with you, that’s not bad. I’ve seen worse. Two weeks ago, they agreed on about 90% which was a record.

But I’ve got some bad news for you. Even if you had perfect agreement on 1,000 different questions it would not be a 100% guarantee that your marriage will be a success.

I’ve learned over the years that success in marriage does not depend on finding the right person as much as it depends on being the right person.

There’s a story about a husband who was hinting about what he wanted for an upcoming milestone anniversary. He said to his wife, “I have always dreamt of owning something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 4 seconds.” She bought him a set of weighing scales. That didn’t go down very well.

The good news is that God wants to give you everything you need to be the right person and for your marriage to be a happy one. All you have to do is ask him. Seriously. If you ask, God will give you all the patience, all the forgiveness, all the kindness, all the love you need.

That’s why the reading you chose says “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” When you look at a braid or a plat it appears to contain only two strands. But you won’t find rope in the shops with only two strands. If you did it would quickly unravel and be useless. You need a third strand to hold the other two together. In a marriage, the third strand that keeps husband and wife together is Jesus Christ.

Someone once said that marriage is the art of two incompatible people learning to live compatibly. I can confirm after 33 years of married life that that’s absolutely true. Kathie and I have virtually nothing in common but Jesus keeps us together and we are actually happier now than we were on our wedding day.

You are both wonderful individuals and you each have many gifts and qualities - but in getting married you become greater than a sum of your parts.

Your reading says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour.” In another version it says, “Two are better than one, because together they can work more effectively.” It’s a bit like a pair of scissors. One blade can cut things but scissor blades are so much more effective when the two cutting edges work together in perfect synergy. As husband and wife you make a team.

Then it says, “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Very few mountaineers are foolish enough to climb alone. They know that if they lose their footing they risk plummeting to their death which is why they are always attached to a partner. Marriage is designed to give you all the support you need when one of you is down.

Then it says, “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” It’s a bit of a struggle when you can’t have a snuggle.

There’s a story about an elderly couple who were lying in bed one bitterly cold night and the wife says, "Do you remember when we were first married, you used to snuggle up to me and keep me warm on nights like this?" He says, "Yes." And he slowly turns over and snuggles up close. "And do you remember” she says, “how you used to nibble my ear and whisper sweet nothings?" "I do," he says – and he sighs and gets up out of bed. She sits up in bed. "Where are you going?" "To get my teeth, dear."

In married life, all the masks can come down. Wives and husbands see each other unwrapped and unadorned –physically which is beautiful and pleasurable, but also emotionally and in our real personality.

Kathie and I know things about one another that nobody else does. We both know all about each other’s insecurities and fears and pain from the past too. I pray your marriage will be a safe place to reveal the real you to one another.

And then it says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” Marriage should be a place of security. Jonathan, when you’re in bed and you hear a strange noise downstairs, you can comfort yourself in the knowledge that you investigated last time and it’s Megan’s turn…

Some people get married believing a myth that marriage is like a beautiful box full of all the things they have always longed for like companionship, intimacy, friendship, security, romance… But in fact every marriage, at the start, is an empty box; and you have to put something in before you can take anything out.

The shocking truth is this; there is no love in marriage; love is only in people, and people put love into marriage.There is no romance in marriage; romance is only in people, and people have to put romance into marriage. Every couple has to learn the art, and form the habit, of keeping the box full.

The love God has for you is the love he wants to keep giving you for each other - and he will keep pouring it in - if you ask him for it.

That’s the one thing I promise you today. I can’t guarantee you happiness, or true love, or prosperity, or good health, or perfect children, or that you’ll agree on everything (or even anything). But I promise you now that if you ask God to give you the love he has for you for each other, he will deliver.

I want to end with the words of a song written for another wedding – but it’s my prayer for you both.

On this day of happiness we have gathered here to bless

The union of two lives in holy love

Love's blossoming is now expressed in solemn vows and promises

With flowers and golden rings, a wedding dress

We look around with joy to see the smiles of friends and family

As witness to this day

But, best of all, a Guest unseen is here with us and, once again

Water turns to wine

On Jon and Megan’s wedding day we ask you Lord to stay

And by your Spirit join these hearts together

And from this moment on teach them your love song

That all the world may hear a three-part harmony

Address given at Saint John's Egglescliffe, 23 July 2016

The Father's Compassion (Psalm 103.1-22)

Introduction

The Father’s compassion. Funny that, most people associate compassion as a mother’s speciality. I’ll come back to that a bit later, but I think we all suspect that men don’t always do compassion quite as well as women.

Men are sometimes a bit awkward in times of emotional stress. Men don’t tend to read the signals so well. Everyone’s knows about agony aunts, but how many agony uncles have you heard of?

Actually, I did hear about one agony uncle column called “Dear Phil.” Here’s an example of how it went: “Dear Phil. I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start. I walked back to my house and found my wife passionately kissing the postman. Can you help me? I'm desperate.”

“Dear Reader. The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps.”

Sadly, as I said a few weeks ago, not all of us have a good mental image of God as Father because for some of us our experience of human fatherhood is so bad. If your dad was absent, or hot-tempered or frosty, or lazy, or self-centred, or unreliable, or immature, or moody, or unaffectionate, or unfaithful you have quite an obstacle to overcome when you say the words “heavenly Father.”

The Holy Spirit wants to bring healing there – and that’s one of the strengths of Sozo by the way; Sozo has been designed to bring our vision and experience of God’s fatherhood into line with truth - and the truth sets you free.

When you see a good father, you are looking at an artist’s impression of God because God has designed human fatherhood to be a pale picture of what he is like. Good fathers are strong, they protect and they provide. They discipline, they affirm, they have tender hearts full of love and their children bring them pleasure.

Like every dad, I have made mistakes as a father with all four of my children. To be honest, it’s a miracle that my four haven’t all grown up with a complex. No parent gets it right with all their kids all the time. If you have had kids you know what I mean. So no one’s picture of God as Father is perfectly true or precise.

A recent survey in the USA revealed that only 4.1% of American teenage girls felt they could talk to their father about a serious problem. The most popular source of help in a crisis was music, followed by peers and, thirdly, the Internet. Dads were 48^th on the list and even mums came in at 31^st.

Something has gone wrong, but it was not that way at the beginning and God wants to bring restoration where there is brokenness.

Psalm 103 is like a photo gallery with a line of pictures showing aspects of God’s father heart. This is one of the ways, probably the most important one of all, that God has chosen to reveal himself.

Psalms are prayers, but there is not one request in Psalm 103. Psalms are prayers, but in this one David is mostly talking not to God but to his inner self, to his soul.

Count Your Blessings

Psalm 103, when you look at it closely, is actually a list of all the things this one man thought of to thank God for in his life. It’s a great thing to do at any time but perhaps especially after a bad week. If you took a sheet of A4 and started to write down, one by one, the blessings of God in your life I think you could fill it in no time.

Let’s have a quick look at a few of the things on David’s list.

First of all, forgiveness (v3). However irreparably bad the mess you’ve made of your life, God has forgiven you all of it if you are truly sorry. The blood of Jesus makes even the foulest, filthiest, lousiest, rottenest life clean. Jesus is the friend of sinners. He turns wretchedness into righteousness and rags into riches. The more you see your own flaws, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s forgiveness appears to you.

Then healing (v3). Have you ever wondered how many illnesses the auto-immune system God made you with stops you getting sick? Without it we would all die within days. Have you ever worked out how many more days in your life you’ve enjoyed good health compared to days of ill health? Have you ever counted the number of times you got better again after being ill?

The gospels tell us that when Jesus saw the crowds, they brought many sick people, and he was moved with compassion and healed all who came to him.

Then the times he gets you out of the fine mess you’ve got yourself into (v4). It says “he redeems your life from the pit.” That means when you feel you’re at rock bottom, he lifts you out of that deep darkness and brings you up, out into the light. He brings cheer to the despairing. He breaks the power of depression.

He satisfies your desires with good things (v5). It doesn’t say he’ll give you expensive things, or extravagant things; in fact the pleasure you get from them won’t satisfy you because the enjoyment of luxury doesn’t last long and just leaves you wanting more.

It says he satisfies your desires with good things. Air to breathe, food to eat, love to share, friendships, family, time to rest, a home to live in, music to enjoy…

The preacher and writer Geoff Lucas, was talking recently about the anointing that comes from the Father heart of God. Can you think of the best church experience you have ever had? Maybe a baptism, a testimony, the presence of God in worship, an extraordinary miracle… whatever it might be. Well, Lucas said this;

“Out of all the thousands of services I have attended, there is one that stands out as the most remarkable. Decades later, I still meet people who say to me whimsically ‘I was there that night’…”

Geoff Lucas was the speaker that night and he says, “I had planned to begin my talk with a simple illustration of fatherhood… My then two-year old son would toddle out onto the platform and I would hold him in my arms for a minute or two, while talking about how secure he was with me as his dad… When the moment came, my little boy suddenly threw his arms back, and for a moment, it looked like he was going to punch me, which would have been awkward. But instead, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his head in my neck… People suddenly fell to the ground, instantly succumbing to the wave of the Holy Spirit that filled that place. Others cried out, a response to the unfathomable awe that pervaded… Within minutes… a queue of people formed, folks who had been instantly healed in that moment. I tried to preach – without success.”

Michael did something a bit like that with his little girl Evie a few years ago. People still remember it and talk about it. See, we are hard-wired to respond to a demonstration of the Father’s compassion. Something inside us years for it.

Here’s another blessing: He renews your youth like the eagle (v5). Eagles regularly molt their feathers so they always have a lustre about them making them look healthy and youthful. The Bible says “even though we are getting old and wrinkly on the outside, on the inside we’re getting younger and younger.”

Compassion

Then these lovely words; v13; “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

Compassion is an overused word. The word compassion comes from the Latin cumpassus and it’s composed of two parts; com - passion. ‘Com’ means ‘coming together’ and gives us words like ‘communication’ and ‘community.’

We know what ‘Passion’ means. The Passion of the Christ is a film about extreme suffering. Our word ‘patient’ comes from this root and means literally ‘one who suffers.’ Then again, people talk about being passionately in love or having a passion for a cause. Passion describes both the overwhelming feelings and deep experiences of loss and love in our lives.

Whatever we’re going through, God is with us in it. That’s compassion. His Father heart shares it; he weeps with those who weep. He laughs with those who laugh. God’s compassion isn’t just a bit of tea and sympathy; its’ a full bloodied entering into our brightest joys and darkest sorrows.

Think of your happiest moments on earth - when your joy just bubbled over. When you had to push your cheeks in because they ached from laughing so much.

That is a faint echo of the Father’s pleasure in creation, surveying all he had made and saying with complete satisfaction, “Ah, this is very good!” Your times of greatest bliss and elation are just a vague hint of the Father’s delight in his Messiah; “This is my Son whom I love, with him I am well pleased.” And he delights in you as his son or daughter too.

Now think of the most wretched moments in your life – when you had no more tears to cry. When everything looked as depressingly bleak as anything can, when you despaired of life itself, when pain felt like it was ripping you in two. 

That is just a tip-on-the-tongue taste of the searing, unbearable, excruciating agony in the Father’s tearing heart as it all gets too much and he turns his face away from his Son’s broken body; the most beautiful life ever lived, going through hell on the cross.

A guy called Tim White once wrote about his experience as a father when his son was young. This is what he said:

“In the first 15 years of his life, our son Ryan had over 30 surgeries. When he was about eight years old, he was in the hospital for another operation. The medical staff had already given him the ‘barney juice’ a purple liquid with something like morphine in it.

The medical staff began to roll him to the operating room. As usual, we accompanied him to the two big doors that led to the theatre. That is where we stopped, and told him all would be OK for the last time before the op.

This day, as we got to the doors and they opened, he sat up in the bed, looked at me in the eyes and pleaded, ‘Dad, don’t let them take me!’

At that moment my heart was broken. I would have done anything to take him off that bed except for the fact that he had to have the surgery. That knowledge didn’t ease the pain in my heart at all. I just stood shaking inside as the doors closed, and he disappeared. That is when I broke down in tears.

Shortly after, when I was asking God how such a good love could hurt so much, I realised that he had gone through the same thing. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus prayed: ‘Father, if there is any other way, let this cup pass from me.’ Translated into the language of a child, ‘Daddy, don’t let them take me.’

I allowed the surgeons to take my son for his own good. God allowed the crucifiers to take his Son for our good. That is how much God loves us. It has been said that something is worth what someone else is willing to pay. Christ’s willingness to give his life shows the value he placed on me.”

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”

I said I’d come back to compassion being a mother’s speciality rather than a father’s. Well, God is neither male, nor female; God is God and he made us – male and female – both in his image.

I’ve just explained the etymology of the word ‘compassion’ in English but in Hebrew the word for compassion in v8 is connected to the word meaning ‘womb’.

There is no force in human nature stronger than the overwhelming love from a mother for the child she carries in her womb and brings to birth. That bond is instinctive and indestructible and it’s what God feels about you.

“Compassion” in Psalm 103 comes four times and it’s a heart word that literally means God is moved by what moves you.

When our son Nathan was about 9 or 10 he was besotted with basketball. We bought him a really nice Wilson Evolution ball for his birthday and he would love to play with this thing. There was a park with a basketball hoop about 3 or 4 minutes’ walk away from our house and he’d often go there and practice, shooting a few baskets, dribbling with the ball and all that.

Well, we didn’t live in the prettiest of neighbourhoods and sometimes there would be a gang of a dozen or so teenagers in hoodies, hanging around looking for a bit of trouble. One day Nathan came home in tears because they had stolen his ball and pushed him around a bit and told him to get lost.

Seeing him broken-hearted, something snapped in me. All my adrenaline started to pump. I was fearless. As I walked down to that park, mad as a bear with a sore head, it occurred to me that they might beat me up and leave me for dead, but somehow I didn’t care. All my compassion was stirred up. I could see Nathan wide-eyed, not quite believing that I was going – unarmed – to confront these youths but I was an unstoppable force.

As I walked into the park, there they were with my son’s ball. I was so emotional and provoked, I could probably have slain them all instantly. But, being English, I politely asked them for my son’s ball back and explained that he was very upset. They looked a bit sheepish gave it back. And I said thank you very much and went home for a nice cup of tea.

Here, ‘compassion’ means that God accepts you and loves you as his child, that he involves himself deeply and emotionally with your pain.

The Fear of the Lord

And notice who he is compassionate towards.  “The Lord’s love is with those who fear him.”

Some years ago, I led an Alpha discussion group and this expression “fearing God” came up in the conversation. One person in my group, very wary, really anti-church, instantly folded her arms and became angry.

She absolutely would not accept this idea of fearing God. So we asked her why she found it so repulsive and she started to talk about a man she had been married to and became scared of, because he was a violent alcoholic. He was controlling, coercive, unpredictable, and aggressive and she lived in constant fear that he would assault her.

And now we were talking about how God is compassionate to those who fear him. It’s understandable that she reacted like she did.

She had unhealthy fear – it led to panic attacks, anxiety, feeling vulnerable and scared for her safety. But there’s another kind of fear that is healthy. Unhealthy fear of a father is being terrified that he’s going to come home drunk and start shouting, swearing and throwing furniture around. Of course the Bible never means that kind of fear. God is niot like that. He is the very opposite of quick tempered. It says in v8, look at it, that he is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

I think I grew up with a healthy fear of my father. I never once felt unsafe with him but my heart would be in my mouth whenever I deliberately did something he had specifically told me not to do. I respected his authority even though I quietly spent my entire childhood inventing new ways of defying it. Now I’m older I can see why he grounded me for playing near the railway line – though it seemed excessively fascist of him at the time. It’s good for us to have a healthy fear. And this is what the Bible means by fearing God.

And those who fear God (in the healthy way) experience the Father’s compassion, his presence in our highs and lows.

Ending

Let’s end with v17: “From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him.”

God’s heart of compassion for you is from everlasting to everlasting. Long before you were conceived or born, God’s heart for you and his commitment towards you were absolute and unwavering.

And long after you’ve died and are forgotten no more his commitment towards you will still be total and unending.

Let’s stand to pray…

Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 10 July 2016