Why I am a Christian (24)

Agnostics Sound Fair-Minded but I Can't Be One

In 2012 I jotted down all the reasons I could think of why I am a Christian. I found 26 so I decided to serialise them in a blog every fortnight for a year.

I covered themes from the realms of science, philosophy and theology before looking at five different facets of Jesus. Then I looked at the inspiration, invincibility and influence of the Bible. Then there were six posts about experiences, mostly personal to me.

I am now drawing near to the end of writing about why I am a Christian, having set out my different reasons every two weeks since January.

As I said at the start, I do not consider that any one reason, on its own, is enough for me to believe that Christianity must be true. The one that probably gets closest is Number 14 about the resurrection but even that one leaves a nagging “what if…” especially when something awful happens in life that makes even the most convinced believer briefly wonder if our existence isn't just a random deal of good and bad luck.

But taken together, all 23 reasons so far make up a cumulative case built on (a) what I think and (b) what I have experienced. Taken together, the 23 reasons I have written about up till now satisfy me that I am not deluded or brain dead and that Christianity really is true. Basically, it all adds up for me and I think if anyone looked honestly, with an open mind, at all I have written about so far they would have to admit that the case for Christianity is a serious one.

If I wasn’t a Christian I would be something else. I have mused about the “something elses” for a long time and these last three posts are about why I do not go along with the three most popular alternatives to being a Christian; religion, atheism and agnosticism.

What about other religions? Could it be that I am just naturally credulous? Do I just need to believe in something as a crutch to help me limp through life? If so, might I have joined another religion had I not become a Christian? What if I was attracted to being a Christian simply because I was born in Britain? What if I had been born in Japan or India or Saudi Arabia or Thailand? Would I have become a devotee of Shintoism, a Hindu, a Muslim or a Buddhist? I’ll look at other religions in Reason 26.

What about atheism? What if all I had ever read in life was the BBC’s Have Your Say forums or the Guardian’s Comment Is Free section? Would I just never have taken Christianity seriously at all? If I had been brought up by atheist parents, self-crowned ‘brights’ who scoffed at Christian faith and suppressed any interest in spiritual things throughout my childhood, would I have ended up an atheist like them? Maybe. But I’ve thought about atheism, I've read their stuff, I've dialogued with some of them - and decided that atheism misses the mark. I’ll write about why I have chosen not to be an atheist in Reason 25 in two weeks' time.

But this week, reason 24, is about agnosticism. I have thought it through carefully and decided not to be an agnostic. But probably the majority of the population in the UK - I would hazard a guess that about 60-70% - is agnostic.

There is a small core of people who self-identify as believers whether they are Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews or whatever. They tend to get derided at school. (Well, not so much the Hindus, Muslims, Jews or whatever because that might be seen as racist or islamophobic or anti-Semitic or intolerant).

Then there is a growing and vocal core of people who self-identify as atheists. They are never picked on at school. (Well, unless they are overweight, or ginger, or have zits, or wear the wrong trainers, or like the wrong music. But not because they proclaim that there is no God - no one gives anyone a hard time for that).

But the majority of people in the UK are pretty live-and-let-live about such things. “Yes there might be a God, probably not in all honesty, but who can really say for sure? Churches don’t seem to do too much harm a few obvious bad apples apart; they even do quite a lot of good, and if you’re that way inclined, going along might cheer you up. But it’s not for me.” This is probably the default world view of the majority of people in the U.K.

Many such people don’t think much about spiritual things. They just don’t feel the need to, although in times of need most will not hesitate to send up a quick prayer just in case. “If there’s a God – fine. If not, well, whatever.”

If you asked the question for a survey “Is there a God?"

• Yes
• No
• Don’t know

most I guess would instinctively tick box number 3. These are the agnostics.

In a way, I really respect agnostics. Generally, they are not heavy or antagonistic. They don't wait like a coiled spring, ready to react the moment someone expresses an opinion consistent with the Bible. They don’t go around saying that they’re scientifically right and everyone who thinks differently to them is brainless. There’s a refreshing intellectual honesty about agnostics. “You might be right. You might be wrong. Whichever way round it is, let’s agree to get on and not cram the internet with opinionated rants.” I like that. I never feel that agnostics are trying to convert me to their way of thinking or indeed scold me for mine.

I warm to people who, when I ask them a question, reply “I honestly don’t know” instead of bluffing and pretending they do.

The comedian David Mitchell (who was brought up in a Jewish home) in this short YouTube clip has recently admitted to being an agnostic and not an atheist. This is part of his interview:

“I don’t accept the argument that atheism is the most rational response to the world as we see it. I think agnosticism is. And I don’t want there to be nothing. No, I’m not convinced there’s something but I do want there to be something. I want there to be an all-powerful, benevolent God and I like that thought. And I was initially brought up with it and now I’m not sure – but I’m not ready to reject it and I’m suspicious of the disdain for people who find that a comfort in their lives.”

What could be fairer than that? Mitchell’s approach appeals because it is eminently reasonable and fair-minded and tolerant of difference. It is open to discussion and persuasion. It is not that brand of agnosticism that says that we can’t know if there is a God or not so don’t bother looking. Mitchell just says he doesn’t know; he’s not convinced as things stand, but he sees no virtue in being completely closed about it.

If I wasn’t a Christian I would probably be an agnostic. After all, it’s what I was before I was a Christian.

And yet in some ways an agnostic is the worst possible thing to be. 

You see, either my name is John or it isn’t. There is no perhaps. Either you are married or you’re single. There is no maybe. In the same way, either there is a God or there isn’t.

So it might be that atheists have been right all along. Perhaps there is no god after all. Maybe it is just a figment of people's imagination and people like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens have justifiably made a fortune selling books because they are correct in their assertion that God is a hare-brained fantasy.

Or on the other hand, it may be that theists are right instead. Perhaps there really is a God who made the universe and is behind our concepts of virtue, truth, justice and beauty. Maybe it’s true after all.

The Irish poet W.B. Yeats summed up the fatal weakness in agnosticism when he said, slightly tongue in cheek, “Some people say there is a God. Others say there is no God. The truth probably lies somewhere in between.”

Of course the truth is not in between, but at one of the poles. Either there is a God or there isn’t. But whichever it is, agnostics are wrong.

Put it another way. Anyone can back the wrong horse. (At the racecourse, most people do in fact; that’s why the man who owns the betting shop drives a Mercedes). But in a two-horse race, what sense is there in backing neither runner just because you really can’t choose between them? Either way, you miss out on the winnings.

Stephen Gaukroger in his little book It Makes Sense asks you to imagine that you are about to drown at sea. You’ve just had a third lungful of sea water and it’s not looking good. Now you know that there are two boats nearby. One will get you home safe and dry. The other is packed with explosives ready to go off at any moment. If you're an agnostic, Gaukroger says, you choose to stay in the water. One boat heads back to port. The other is blown to smithereens. And you drown.

You were absolutely right about the perilous danger of one of those boats – and absolutely wrong to stay in the sea.

Rejecting both the reality of God and the unreality of God, agnostics are condemned to make the wrong choice because either God is real or he isn’t. Agnosticism is therefore the worst of all worlds.

About 3,500 years ago Moses spoke to the whole Israelite nation in these words: 

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (Deuteronomy 30.19-20).

He was saying "Come on, make your minds up. Don't sit on the fence forever."

That’s why I am not an agnostic any more. When I left the security of my uncertainties and discovered the sure riches of Jesus Christ I knew there was no going back. I absolutely don’t regret it for a minute. That’s the 24th reason I am a Christian.

Jesus Our Peace (Remembrance Day Sermon 2013)

Ephesians 2.13-18 and John 16.28-33

On 28th June 1914, a Bosnian Serb nationalist called Gavrilo Princip shot dead Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife Sophie on the Latin Bridge in Sarajevo.

It was a single act of violence that started a chain reaction into what we now call the First World War. 

2 million Germans, 1.7 million Russians, 1.4 million French, 1 million British, plus many others, died in that conflict; 16 million people in all.

On 1st September 1939, Adolf Hitler, having successfully overrun Austria and Czechoslovakia, ordered the military invasion of Poland.

It was a single act of violence that instantly triggered the Second World War.

26.6 million Russians, 7.4 million Germans, 5 million Poles, half a million British, plus many others, died in that conflict. Including civilians, about 72 million people died in all – over 4 times the number of people killed in the First World War.

We recite figures in millions of people whose lives were abruptly ended by these wars, but of course each one would all have had a unique story to tell. Many of those stories will never be told.

A friend of mine in Southampton conducted a funeral on Friday for a 92 year old Polish man. He fought with the French army after D-Day, was captured by the Gestapo, met a Polish woman in Italy and fell in love with her. He told her that when the war was over he would marry her.

But they then got separated, only to meet again quite by chance at the Polish post-war reception camp in this country. His story is like a film script! They were married and lived happily ever after.

But he and his sweetheart were survivors. If he had died in that conflict, no one would ever know his story. There are 90 million precious people from the two World Wars whose stories and unfulfilled dreams are buried with them.

What we do today is emphatically not to glorify war. 

We do this today to remember with sadness how millions of desperately frightened people had their hopes dashed, their health taken away, their homes demolished, their romances ruined, their families torn apart, their lives abruptly ended because of the foolishness of one single act of violence.

We do this today to repent of the hatreds in our own hearts that lead to conflict.

We do this today to remember the personal cost to a few who stood, and still stand, in harm’s way to protect the many.

We do this today to turn to Christ – the Prince of Peace – that we might be peacemakers in turn.

Jesus said (in the words of our second reading) that we can have peace – in him.

“I have told you these things,” he said, “so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

So the peace Jesus offers us is not the absence of war. Jesus knows too much about human nature to say “it’s all going to be O.K., everything’s going to be just fine.” He says, quite honestly, “you will have trouble.”

Nations are always at war. They always have been. According to my Bible, they always will be. There has been only one year since the end of the Second World War in 1945 when a British serviceman has not been killed in action. That year was 1968.

Jesus said that there will be wars and rumours of wars all the way until the end of time, when swords will be beaten into plough shares and when he returns in power to judge the living and the dead.

But in me, he said, even though wars continue to rage all over the Earth, you can have peace.

Somebody joked recently, “If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.”

But actually you can stay calm when all around you is chaos even when you have understood it all too well - if Jesus is in your life.

Not only that, our first reading says that “he himself (Jesus) is our peace.” It says “He has made the two [enemy] groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.”

David Hamilton was a member of the paramilitary group the Ulster Volunteer Force in Northern Ireland in the 1970s. He lived a life of prejudice, hatred and violence. He was responsible for several bombings and shootings before he was caught, tried and jailed in the Maze prison, Belfast. While he was there, after a long personal struggle, he converted to Christ and renounced violence.

Liam McCloskey was a prominent member of the IRA. He was one of the two original hunger strikers at the Maze prison with Bobby Sands. He would have died had his mother not signed a form giving permission for him to be force-fed when he became unconscious. After recovering from his hunger strike, he started reading the Bible in his cell. He converted to Christ and ended his involvement with the IRA.

Loyalist and nationalist prisoners were strictly kept in separate wings of that prison. But the ones who became Christians, from both sides of the conflict, like Liam and David were able to forgive each other, to get on, and embrace each other. Because Christ is our peace.

Jesus can to smash down walls of hate between warring peoples and bring lasting reconciliation like no one else can. “He has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.”

Jesus is our peace.

Some people disagree. I often hear it said that the only thing religion has done for the human race is cause war and conflict.

Unfortunately, religion often has been a source of conflict between peoples and nations, even to this day. But it’s a small percentage. Charles Phillips and Alan Axelrod in their Encyclopaedia of Wars put the figure at just 7%.

But, though it might sound strange given what I'm wearing today [clergy robes], I’m not interested in religion. I am a follower of Jesus. Did Jesus Christ encourage his followers to take up arms and kill anyone who disagreed with them? Of course not.

When Peter took out his sword to fight those who had come to arrest Jesus, Jesus rebuked him: “Put your sword back in its place.”

Jesus came for one reason: to tear down the wall that separates us from God - the wall caused by sin. And he did that as the victim of one single act of violence against him - his death on the cross. Put your faith and trust in him, for he alone gives us peace, having conquered death by rising again. 

Let me give you an example of how he gives peace. 

In July 2007, British soldier Derek Derenalagi was on a tour of duty in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, when his vehicle hit a powerful improvised explosive device as it made its way to a helicopter landing site. 

One single act of violence. The blast was so strong it threw him 30 yards into the air - about the height of this roof. Unsurprisingly, he had been very seriously injured. As he lay on the ground, barely conscious, Derek called out in prayer. “Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for the life I’ve had. And now, if you are willing to use me to motivate and encourage others, then please give me life again.”

Reinforcements arrived and Derek and his comrades were sped away to Camp Bastion. It seems they got there too late. He was pronounced dead at the scene. But whilst they were preparing him for a body bag, one of the medical staff checked one last time and found that he still had a very faint pulse. 

Miraculously, his life was saved. He was flown back to the UK where, nine days later, he woke up in Selly Oak Hospital, Birmingham. As a result of the injuries he sustained, both legs had had to be amputated above the knee. 

He was visited in hospital by Emma and Bryn Parry. They were deeply moved by his dignity and peace of mind in the face of extreme pain and loss. Derek was the inspiration for Emma and Bryn for the creation of Help for Heroes, to whom today’s offering will be donated.

From his hospital bed, Derek watched the Beijing Paralympic Games. He made it his ambition to wear Britain's colours four years later at London 2012.

He worked at identifying his strongest sport, and found that it was the discus. They built him specialised prostheses to be especially resilient to withstand the force of his throwing action.

Five years to the day after Derek’s tragic accident in Helmand, he entered the London Olympic stadium as a Team GB Paralympian and reigning European champion in the F57 category for athletes with spinal cord injuries and amputations.

But if you were to ask Derek what his great motivation, his chief inspiration, and his major driving force are, he would point to Jesus, our peace.

Having so much he could be bitter and angry about, when Derek Derenalagi speaks about his life, he overflows with joy about what he is grateful for.

In an interview he did for Thank a Soldier Monthly he concluded with these words:

“Finally I wish to add, that as a born-again Christian, I am thankful to the Lord Jesus Christ for all he has orchestrated in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without my creator, my fortress and my rock. He has led me through my adversities and brought me out at the other end with my feet firmly grounded. To him alone I give the glory.”

You see, when Jesus is our peace, one single act of violence doesn’t have to yield a return of untold misery. It can bring a harvest of indescribable blessing.

Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, Remembrance Sunday, 10th November 2013.

Why I am a Christian (23)

Near Death Experiences Suggest that Death Is Not the End

In 2012 I jotted down all the reasons I could think of why I am a Christian. I found 26 so I decided to serialise them in a blog every fortnight for a year.

I have so far covered themes from the realms of science, philosophy and theology before looking at five different facets of Jesus (I could have explored many more). Then I looked at the inspiration, invincibility and influence of the Bible. This is the sixth of the last nine posts which are more personal and are based on experiences rather than arguments.

Of all my 26 reasons this is the one I feel most hesitant and least sure about. It’s about the phenomenon of near-death experiences. If they are genuine they show that death is not the end, that there is an afterlife and that much of what is written in the Bible about eternity is exactly right. But it’s a big “if.”

According to the International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS), the term “near-death experience” was first coined in 1975 by Raymond Moody MD in his book Life After Life. It has since become a respected field of research in medicine and psychology. The following quote is from IANDS’s website.

“A near-death experience (NDE) is a distinct subjective experience that people sometimes report after a near-death episode. In a near-death episode, a person is either clinically dead, near death, or in a situation where death is likely or expected. These circumstances include serious illness or injury, such as from a car accident, military combat, childbirth, or suicide attempt. People in profound grief, in deep meditation, or just going about their normal lives have also described experiences that seem just like NDEs, even though these people were not near death. Many near-death experiencers (NDErs) have said the term ‘near-death’ is not correct; they are sure that they were in death, not just near-death.”

It is fair to say that there seems to be very little consensus in the scientific community at the present time about these experiences. Some attribute them to hallucinations. Others say they are due to an electrical surge in the dying brain. Others still refuse to take the field seriously at all, putting NDEs in roughly the same bracket as ghosts, UFOs and the conspiracy theory that the Apollo moon landings were faked. But some simply catalogue what is reported without any attempt to provide an explanation.

I am myself open-minded about all this. I do not strongly believe that near-death experiences are real spiritual events. They may be. Truth be told, I don’t actually know an awful lot about them. They could all turn out to be rationally explained by psychologists or through research into brain function. It wouldn’t undo my faith in Christianity at all. It would just mean that there are 25 reasons why I am a Christian and not 26. But what if they are real?

I have only ever met one person who has claimed to have had such an experience. I cannot comment here on my perception of that person’s trustworthiness. I do not know the person that well.

There is one reason, and one reason only, why I include this in the 26 reasons and that is a curious passage in 2 Corinthians 12 in which the Apostle Paul speaks of an experience of this nature in his own life and his reluctance to make much of it.

It is not, as far as I can tell, a testimony from near death but as the IANDS says, “People… in deep meditation or just going about their normal lives have also described experiences that seem just like NDEs, even though these people were not near death.”

This is the quote: “I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know - God knows. And I know that this man - whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows - was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations.”

Paul says here that someone he knew (perhaps it was an indirect way of speaking of himself as the end of the quotation possibly indicates) had a vivid experience of some heavenly place – perhaps physically, perhaps in a trance-like state – and that it was completely indescribable.

I keep an open mind about what people say has happened to them (especially I must say when it’s rewarded with a publishing contract) but I believe the Bible is trustworthy and true. I take the testimony of an Apostle writing Scripture under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to be totally reliable. That’s my starting point. I cannot write off all these stories out of hand when there is one such testimony in the inspired word of God.

I have come to believe that God might well sometimes give departing believers glimpses of what is to come partly perhaps to encourage us who remain.

The evangelist Billy Graham once said, “Just before dying, my grandmother sat up in bed, smiled, saying ‘I see Jesus and he has his hand outstretched to me. And there is Ben and he has both of his eyes and both of his legs.’” (Ben, Billy Graham’s grandfather, had lost an eye and a leg in war).

Sceptics might say that this is just delirium or wishful thinking. I do not say categorically that they are wrong. They may be right.

But I don’t know… There are several books out at the moment by people who claim to have had foretastes of heaven during a serious illness only to make a full recovery. I think these testimonies deserve to be listened to without prejudice.

When I wrote my 26 reasons down, I had recently read a book called Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo about his four-year old son Colton (Colton Burpo - what a name!) in which the child had undergone life-threatening surgery following a burst appendix. Thankfully, Colton survived the operation.

But following the surgery, it became clear that the child had had a remarkable and mystifying experience while still on the operating table. Days, weeks, even months following the operation he would talk unprompted, and matter-of-factly about being able to look down and watch the medical staff perform the surgery and see his father desperately praying in an adjacent room. His description of the scene in the waiting room was exactly correct, even though young Colton had at no time actually been there.

Other details slowly emerged as, now and again, Colton would come out with “what he had seen in heaven.” He said for example that he had met his miscarried sister, about whom he had no prior knowledge. He described meeting with his great grandfather, portraying him accurately, and who had died years before Colton was even born. He gave full and exact descriptions, in child’s language, of obscure details in the Bible - things he would never have learned in Sunday school or heard at home. That is just a short summary - there’s a lot more in the book.

Unless Colton’s pastor father is an absolute charlatan who has bullied his pre-school aged son to defend an elaborate lie as he grows up, it is hard to explain this away. Certainly, it doesn’t fit as some kind of trick of the mind when in trauma.

Another interesting testimony is from the Harvard trained neurosurgeon Dr. Eben Alexander. This Huffington Post article about him (with video) seems as balanced as you would expect from such a respected, secular source.

This testimony is particularly thought-provoking because Dr. Alexander had, until his own NDE in the autumn of 2008, been highly sceptical of such phenomena. He was of the view that NDEs feel real, but are no more than fantasies produced by the brain when under extreme stress.

Then, Dr. Alexander suffered a rare illness (bacterial meningitis). The part of the brain that commands thought and emotion completely shut down. Alexander lay in a coma for a full week. Then, as his doctors considered discontinuing treatment, his eyes suddenly opened. He then began to speak of what he had experienced while in his comatose state.

Dr Raymond Moody whom I referenced above as the person who first coined the expression “near-death experiences” has gone on record about Dr. Alexander’s story saying “Dr. Eben Alexander's near-death experience is the most astounding I have heard in more than four decades of studying this phenomenon... one of the crown jewels of all near death experiences... Dr. Alexander is living proof of an afterlife.”

Now again, it may be that this man is making it all up in order to sell books. He certainly has done that, topping the New York Times bestsellers list. But if that is the case, he has completely hoodwinked one of the world's leading academic authorities on the subject, risking his entire career and professional reputation as he did. Or he may simply be mistaken or deluded.

To be fair, Alexander has attracted strong opposition from critics who have attempted to explain his experiences in purely natural terms. He has publicly refuted each attack, defending his account vigorously.

But there are many, many other stories of near-death experience. Many of them confirm biblical teaching. Some of them are more esoteric and new-age in feel – which in my view is the biggest argument against their authenticity.

Nevertheless, though I find all this quite interesting, my belief in life after death is not based on anecdotes and testimonies of this nature. My faith in heaven, hell and eternal life is founded on the well-attested historical fact of the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, which I put forward in Reason 14.

Everyone knows that if medical research finds a rational explanation for NDEs it will merely mean that there’s a rational explanation for NDEs. No big deal.

But what if it doesn’t? What if these experiences are based on a spiritual reality we cannot explain and not on the imagination or some malfunction of the brain when it shuts down? Then there is a big deal. While the research goes on, I read stories like those quoted above with interest and some encouragement. 

And until good evidence is produced to prove the contrary, NDEs lend some supporting evidence to my belief that heaven is real and they provide me with a 23rd reason for being a Christian.

Grieving with Hope

Bereavement Service Address based on 1 Thessalonians 4.13-15

Introduction

We live in an age of widespread ignorance about what happens to people after death.

A former England football manager was sacked for his sincere belief that disabled people were being punished for indiscretions of a previous life. People often talk (especially when children die) about them becoming an angel or a new star in the sky. Others say things like “Granddad’s looking out for us now from up there”, or “Grandma hasn’t really gone, it’s just like she’s in the next room or is in the wind.” I’m sure you’ve heard this kind of thing said at funerals or written in condolence cards.

There has always been a wide range of contradictory and competing ideas about what happens to us after we die. But the Christian vision of these things has always been clear.

So when the Apostle Paul attempts to explain it all he starts off by saying “We do not want you to be ignorant [or uninformed] about those who sleep in death.”

Non-Christian Attitudes to Death

Probably the dominant belief about death in Britain today is that death has the final word and there is nothing to say afterwards. There is no life after death, This life is all there is to live for, and there is no hope of anything else, better or worse, beyond the grave.

Most people think that when we die, that’s it. There’s nothing on the other side and within two generations – at best – we’ll be forgotten. It’s portrayed as a grown-up way of looking at things, leaving behind the superstitions of our more gullible ancestors.

But having no hope and seeing no meaning in life are not unique to modern, secular countries like ours. It has been expressed in many other cultures in the past.

In Bible times, as today, there were many ideas doing the rounds about death.

Here are some of the statements that have been found from the ancient Greek world into which Paul was writing this letter.

There’s a tombstone not far from Thessalonica with the inscription “I was not, I came, I am not, I care not.” That’s an honest summary of the world’s hope – or lack of it – without Christ.

The Greek playwright Aeschylus said: “Once a man dies, there is no resurrection.”

The poet Theocritus wrote: “There is hope only for those who are alive, but those who have died are without hope.” (We still say today “Where there’s life, there’s hope” which comes from this quotation).

The Roman lyricist Catullus wrote: “When once our brief light sets, there is one perpetual night through which we must sleep.”

And here’s an extract from a letter of sympathy sent by someone to a friend grieving a close relative around 2,000 years ago. “I was sorry and wept over the departed one… but nevertheless against such things as death one can do nothing. Therefore comfort one another.”

The tone is one of resignation. It speaks quite pitifully about those whose job it is to console - but who have no consolation to offer.

As our country increasingly turns away from its Christian past, it’s not surprising that it’s more and more common to hear this sort of approach today. The British Humanist Association’s slogan is “For the one life we have.”

Because humanists don’t fear hell or yearn for heaven, they try to make a virtue of having no hope, no expectation, no wish, of anything beyond the grave. So when someone dies, all you can really do is dispose of the body, say a few nice things, and take care of each other as best you can. And that’s it.

An increasingly common thing I hear when preparing a funeral is “He or she would have wanted you to be happy, so we’re going to wear bright colours and celebrate their life instead.”

In every life, there is so much to celebrate, so much to be thankful for and so I think this is good.

But when people say “Don’t be upset, don’t cry, they would have hated to see people sad,” though I know people mean well, it doesn’t help us come to terms with what has happened.

Grieving properly, with real tears, is natural for us and it is actually unhealthy to bottle everything all up and force a smile. We need an emotional outlet. It helps us move towards closure. There is great healing in grieving well.

So notice the Bible never says here, “Don’t grieve.” It says don’t “grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”

Christian Attitudes to Death

I mentioned just now an ancient sympathy letter offering little solace. Archaeologists have unearthed another letter of condolence, dating back to the same time, in which the tone is quite different.

Because this time it’s about Christian funerals, and it reads as follows: “If any righteous person among them passes from the world they rejoice and offer thanks to God; and they escort the body as if he were setting out from one place to another nearby.”

Christian funerals have a totally different feel to them.

A funeral director was asked recently “What is the difference between Christian homes and others where there has been bereavement. Have you noticed any difference at all?” He paused and thought for a few moments and replied, “Yes there is one difference I have noticed again and again. Something that is only true of Christians and it’s this: however tragic the circumstances of the death, I have never found resentment or bitterness. I’ve found that elsewhere, but never in a Christian home.”

Christian deaths are distinctive too. I’ve accompanied Christians in their dying days and so often I have marvelled at the peace that descends on a believer as death approaches. Psalm 116 says “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.”

People sometimes ask me what it will be like when we die. Of course, I don’t know exactly – how could I? – but I sometimes wonder if we all know what it’s like more than we think we do.

Because my guess is, reading my Bible, that it’s much like falling asleep – something we’ve all done thousands of times before and indeed every day. We fall asleep, only this time, we wake up in a different place.

The Bible often speaks of the death of believers as sleep or rest. In modern English, even in secular contexts, we say “Rest in peace” – that comes from our Christian past. Paul uses that language three times in the short passage we read.

But the New Testament never speaks of Jesus’ death as “falling asleep.” It insists repeatedly that Jesus actually died; he breathed his last, he surrendered his spirit and was independently certified as dead. His lifeless corpse was physically handled by several witnesses as it was removed from the cross and laid in a tomb.

God didn’t wake him from sleep; he raised him from death, on the third day. The tomb was empty and he was seen alive by hundreds of eye witnesses.

There is one reason, and only one reason, why Christian attitudes to dying and death are so different; the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

So our passage continues: “We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” 

Conclusion

If you’re a Christian, there is no need for fear in death. It’s just a doorway into a new reality that outshines anything this life has to offer.

True, we cry, we feel the pain of loss, we mourn, we grieve.

But there’s no despair of never meeting them again, quite the opposite.

But if we grieve it is for ourselves, not for our loved one. They’re not missing anything, they’re much better off. For as the Scripture says, to live is Christ, to die is gain.

So let me invite you to renew your faith in the risen Christ – and grieve with hope.

Sermon preached at Saint Mary's Long Newton, 3rd November 2013 

Wedding Clothes

A Wedding Address based on Colossians 3.12-14

Names have been changed.

At a wedding, more than at most other occasions, clothing is carefully considered and selected, to reflect the importance of the occasion. Our daughter got married last year. And if your family is anything like ours, the bride’s mother will have sweated for months about what she would wear. And the bride’s father will have started wondering if he’s got an ironed shirt at 3:00am the night before.

Jenny and Mark, you didn’t just open your wardrobe doors this morning and say “Right, what shall it be today, smart or casual?” Nor did you just stand around in your dressing gowns and pick out the first clean thing you saw ten minutes before making your way to the church.

You have actually planned for some time what you are wearing today. This suit and this beautiful dress are carefully chosen for this unique occasion in your lives. It’s not everyday apparel.

But when the wedding service is finished and the party is over and the honeymoon has ended and life settles into familiar routines again – when all this is a memory – and the clothes you are in today are hung up in a wardrobe – or returned to the hirer, or sold on eBay… what then?

The second reading you chose for today talks about putting on new clothes. Specifically addressed to Christians, it says, “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with [and here’s what you see when you open the clothes cupboard] compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” What a wardrobe!

Clothes say so much about who we are. People say, “Oh, I like that hat, it suits you.” Or “Oh, you really look good in blue.” Or “that style is just so you.”

Mind you, a friend of mine from Paris was once in a waiting room in Amsterdam - this is a true story - and a Dutch woman walked over to a complete stranger and said, “You know, red makes you look really fat, you should wear another colour.”

I don’t know if they are as uninhibited and direct where you live as they famously are in the Netherlands. I hope not!

It sounds like that lady could have put on some compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience herself.

What the Bible says here is that our way of thinking and relating to each other are like the clothes we put on. Being petty and critical and impatient is a bit like wearing an outfit that don’t suit you or fit properly or that clashes badly.

But there is a wardrobe that always feels new, with clothes that you want to wear all the time.

Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

These are such excellent attitudes to take into married life. If in every home both husband and wife were always compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with one another there wold only be happy marriages and no divorce. I’m going to spend a couple of minutes going through them.

Firstly, compassion literally means to suffer together. I know today that suffering is the last thing on your minds. But you’ll have bad days. “Be clothed with compassion” means that when your husband or wife is really upset, you feel it too.

I know couples who have grown stronger and closer in times of great stress - after a miscarriage or in a long period of unemployment. That’s because of this compassion, this commitment to love each other not just for better, but also for worse.

The second item of clothing is kindness. We know what kindness means. Don’t you feel special when someone, out of the blue, does something really thoughtful for you? So we know our spouse is going to feel great when we just surprise them with a random act of kindness every now and then.

But that’s not all. Research has shown that acts of kindness actually benefit the giver, as well as the receiver because giving triggers the release of feel-good pheromones in our bodies. Think of how great life would be in a constant virtuous circle of thoughtfulness between a husband and a wife.

Thirdly, humility. People sometimes see humility as a bit of a loser’s virtue. But think of the opposite. Marriages that are full of arrogance and competitiveness, where both want to get their way all the time are never happy ones.

The most expert lovers are those where husband and wife look first of all to please each other instead of gratifying themselves. That’s what humility does in a relationship. It’s a key to real happiness in marriage.

Fourthly, gentleness. This the quality we need when something has gone wrong in the marriage and there’s a need to clear the air. He forgets an anniversary - again; she is intolerably late - not for the first time. When we feel like we want to be harsh or abrasive, when we have something difficult to say, it’s a gentle approach that actually fixes the problem. The severe tone simply makes a bad situation worse.

There’s a brilliant bit of practical wisdom in the Bible that many couples have taken on board. It says, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” In other words, after a quarrel, decide to climb down from your lofty position of being right and gently make up with each other before you go to bed.That's a good rule of thumb.

And fifthly patience. In every marriage there are days when husband or wife are simply exasperating. People who cultivate patience can accept delay, or tolerate problems, or put up with inconvenience without becoming annoyed.

Think of the patience you need for a bottle of new wine to mature into a classy vintage. Well, Mark, be patient because women are like wine; always charming and they mature with age. Jenny, the truth is that men are like milk… I don't mean they become sour and rancid after a week; I mean that milk can be turned into a delicious cheese that, if you have the patience to let it mature, it goes wonderfully well with good wine.

So they’re the clothes for your wardrobe throughout married life.

Have you ever had a dream in which you’re in a public place and, as the dream goes on, you find yourself to be noticeably underdressed or worse, completely undressed? At first everything seems normal, but as the dream continues, you become more and more conscious that something’s not right and you feel less and less comfortable.

Apparently it’s a very common dream. Some psychoanalysts believe that this dream arises from anxiety about our true selves being exposed – it’s because we’re insecure about who we really are.

In married life, all the masks come down. Our wives and husbands see us unwrapped and unadorned – obviously physically which is beautiful and enjoyable, but also emotionally and in our real personality.

My wife and I know things about one another that nobody else does. She knows I like my butter spread thin and I know she spends exactly two minutes cleaning her teeth. But we both know all about each other’s insecurities and fears and pain from the past too.

Finally, you need lots of love. A modern paraphrase of verse 14 in our reading puts it like this: "Regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."

When you read the Gospels, you find on every page a fantastic example of a life of love - Jesus.

He healed the sick. He touched untouchables. He forgave sinners. He discharged debtors. He washed dirty feet. He defended the feeble. He blessed the young. He served the unfortunate. He dignified the disgraced.

And he still does. As S.M. Lockridge put it, he's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call him. He still supplies strength for the weak. He's still available for the tempted and the tried. He still sympathizes and he still saves.

So may Christ be your inspiration and your guide as you enter married life together. And long after the clothes you wear today have worn out, may everyone who knows you celebrate the Christian virtues that you display in your married life together.

Address given at a wedding at Saint Mary's Long Newton, 2nd November 2013