A young man was working in a supermarket produce department. And one morning a lady asked him if she could buy half a lettuce. “Half? No, I don’t think so.” But she insists. “I do my shopping in this supermarket for 20 years and you will not sell me half a lettuce? That’s an outrage!” So the young man says “Look, I'll ask my boss.”
So he goes and finds the manager. “You are not going to believe this,” he says, “but there is a crazy old bat asking whether she can buy half a lettuce!” As he is speaking, the manager, very embarrassed, is making faces and gesturing wildly. Because, unbeknown to him, the lady had followed the young man and had heard everything he said. The young man turns round, sees her, and says “…and this charming customer wants to know if she can buy the other half.”
Later in the day, the manager sees his younger colleague in the canteen. “Nice recovery earlier.” Tell me, where did you learn such quick wit?” “Well, he says, “I grew up in Liverpool, a city known for its great football teams and ugly women.” The manager shapes to hit him. “Hey! My wife is from Liverpool!” Sharp as a flash, the young man says “Really? Which team did she play for?”
Me and my big mouth! How many times have you heard that expression? Indeed, how many times have you used it yourself?
Is there anyone here this morning who wants to love life and who would like to see good days? It sounds like something we’d all sign up to.
So what is the secret to finding such happiness? The answer is found in 1 Peter 3.10 which says, “Whoever among you would love life and see good days must keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech.”
1) The Indisputable Importance of the Tongue (v1-2)
What we say may not always seem very important for us or very interesting to others – but it is never trivial to God. Consider the words of Jesus:
“I tell you that people will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every idle word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12.36-37).
Kathie and I made a list this week of all the sins that are associated with the tongue. Out of the mouth come criticism, moaning, cursing, swearing, blaspheming, boasting, interrupting rudely, accusations, lies, exaggeration, quarrels, slander, gossip, insults, vulgarity, sarcasm, flattery, name calling and inappropriate innuendo. And spitting. And sticking your tongue out. Not to mention bad breath – which is not a sin, except perhaps when witnessing! Always carry mints for evangelism and prayer ministry. (If people keel over in prayer ministry it doesn’t want to be a reaction to yesterday’s onions)!
So the importance of the tongue is indisputable. That’s why James, at the beginning of this letter (and we saw it a few weeks ago), talks about keeping a tight rein on the tongue.
Here in Chapter 3 he picks up again on the same theme and he starts with a word for preachers. “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers and sisters, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.”
Every preacher I know encounters the same temptation: to say only what people want to hear, to be popular and to entertain instead of commending truth and calling for a response. Well, God will call all Bible teachers to give him an explanation of the content of their teaching. Pray for the preaching team here because these are temptations we all face.
And then James says this: “Those who are never at fault in what they say are perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”
In other words, if you get what you say and how you say it right you will have everything else together as well.
The standard is Jesus. We want to be like him don’t we? How did he speak? John 7.46 puts it very simply. “No one ever spoke the way this man does.”
Speaking graciously, truthfully, with authority, with love, each word bringing life – that’s what flows out of a deep and durable friendship with God through Jesus Christ.
2) The Disproportionate Damage of the Tongue (v3-6)
Someone might say that sticks and stones may break bones but words never really hurt much, and that we shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill. But that is precisely the point our reading makes this morning.
Words can do immense damage (much more than sticks and stones) and speech molehills can quickly morph into speech Himalayas.
In v3-5 James compares the tongue to a horse’s bit, a ship’s rudder and a match in a dry forest. Each image tells us how disproportionately damaging the tongue can be in relation to its own modest size.
When you ride a horse, you hold reins in your hands which are attached to piece of metal, called a bit, which is placed in the horse’s mouth. When you pull on the reins to the right or left, the horse moves accordingly. Without this system of steering, no horse would ever understand the rider's intentions. You’d say “turn left boy” and the animal would just look back at you blankly. But control over the horse’s tongue informs the direction it travels.
The point being that, for God, the way we talk says everything about what’s important in our life and where our life is going.
The point being that what we say, and how we say it, can be life-giving or life-destroying.
We understand the woman who says her cheating husband, “The worst thing is not that you lied to me, but that I do not know if I can ever believe you again.” Lies don’t just conceal facts, they destroy relationships.
In May this year dozens of serious forest fires broke out all over the country.
The blazes took hold quickly because trees and bracken were exceptionally dry after the hottest April on record, which saw only 20% of the expected rainfall in England and Wales. The fires left a trail of devastation causing many families to be evacuated from homes. Many of these fires were caused by arsonists.
James says here in v5: “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” Great forest, small spark. “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.”
The tongue weighs a few ounces, but what power! With our words we protect friends or we betray them. We affirm truth or we suppress it. Our tongues can make peace or declare war. Our words can be a blessing from heaven or, as James says in v6, can be set on fire by hell.
When you think about it, what we say, and the way we say it, gives people a window into who we really are. That’s why Jesus said “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” So if our words are always negative, or ungracious, or false there’s probably a lot going on within that God wants to change.
Take, for example, the archetypal fault-finding boss. You may have worked for one. You may have been one.
Well, I heard a story about a former US President (and I don’t know if it’s a true story so I won’t name him) but he had a reputation of being ultra critical and severe.
One day he walked in to his Press Attaché’s office and saw piles of papers, folders, open books, press releases, staplers and so on all spread across his desk – a bit of a mess, but nothing unusual for a busy office. The President said “Kilduff! I hope your brain is not as disorderly as your desk.”
So, naturally, as soon as the President left, Kilduff started to clear up his office. He sorted his papers, filed his documents, tidied away his pens and staplers in a drawer, put a whole pile of rubbish in the bin, dusted his phone etc. etc. until everything looked immaculate.
The following morning, the President walked in, took one look at Kilduff’s desk and said, “Kilduff! I hope your brain is not as empty as your desk top!”
You see what I’m saying? The problem wasn’t that the desk was tidy or untidy. The problem was that the President had a critical spirit and so only spoke disparaging words. It is from the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks.
But the opposite is also true. If you allow God’s grace to train your tongue to speak graciously, he fills your heart with goodness. Proverbs 15.4 says “The wholesome tongue is a tree of life.”
I’ll tell you a little story that illustrates that. Someone asked a couple celebrating their golden wedding, the secret of their success. The husband told his story. He didn’t find it easy to express his feelings. He had grown up in an orphanage and had worked hard for everything he had. He had never gone out with a woman until he fell in love with a young lady called Doris.
She fell in love with him and soon they were married. On his wedding day, the bride’s father took him to one side to give him a gift. He said, “this gift has everything you really need to know about having a happy marriage.” He peeled off the wrapping paper and inside was a beautiful gold watch. He looked carefully and noticed it was engraved. Every time he looked at his watch he saw the words “Say something lovely to Doris.”
So the tongue can produce an abundance of blessing – but it is also capable of disproportionate damage.
3) The Terrifying Truth about the Tongue (v7-8)
James doesn’t just say that the tongue is capable of doing great damage. He also says it is hopelessly unruly.
There were four vicars who often met up for a cup of tea and a cucumber sandwich. One day, one of them says, “Our parishioners open their hearts to us. But we have no one we can do that with so let’s share our struggles to each other. Confession is good for the soul.”
The other three agree that this is a really good idea. So one of them takes a deep breath and confesses that he is having an affair and is a closet transvestite. Another says he smokes home grown pot and drinks a bottle of vodka every day. Another admits that he gambles and lost last Sunday’s offering money on the 3.30 at Chepstow. They turn to the fourth vicar. “And what about you, what's your secret vice?” “Mine is gossip, and I’ve got to go now. Have a great week gentlemen!”
Verse 7 says “All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by human beings, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
And that’s particularly true of gossip.
No one can tame the tongue? No one? Nobody.
But God can. Humanly speaking, the tongue is untamable but with God nothing is impossible. Do you want to come to God and lay your life before him and ask him to make your speech gracious, your language positive, your words truthful and your conversation wholesome? God is able.
4) Our Challenging Choice for the Tongue (v9-12)
In a moment we will express words of faith, profound truths about God. Then we will sing songs of praise, adoration and devotion to the Lord. But before singing one last thought.
Verse 9: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
If you drink pure spring water mixed with dirty sea water, it's not the goodness of the healthy water you will taste.
If our tongues are not under the control of the Holy Spirit, it’s the boasting and lying and swearing and rumormongering - not the wholesome talk that people will hear.
Will we sing songs of praise to our God and then lack love when we speak to others? May the Lord give us grace to speak considerately and truthfully.
Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 7th August 2011
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