Introduction
Two weeks ago, I took part in an online prayer meeting organised by the family of churches we belong to. There were about 60 participants from maybe 20 nations, situated in perhaps a dozen time zones, all connected by computer video link.
I’m conscious that this talk is being recorded and posted online, so I’ll keep any identifying details vague, but one participant (I’ll call him Ezekiel) was from a Muslim-majority country where officially Christianity is a permitted religion but, in reality, Christians and churches are routinely subjected to harassment, intimidation or false accusation of blasphemy (which carries the death sentence), while the police just stand by.
Ezekiel was telling the rest of us the story of his church, which is situated in a large and bustling city. And he told of how this church, planted by his father with a team of just eight people in 1998, has steadily grown. Which also means it began to get noticed.
At one time, when Ezekiel was a child, I’m guessing this would have been perhaps 20 years ago, twelve imams in that city issued a joint statement calling for the death by beheading of Ezekiel’s father.
The family had to leave everything, flee for their safety, and go into hiding, but sometime later Ezekiel’s parents felt they heard from God, calling them to return to their flourishing young church and to not fear any man. The Lord’s promise to them was that he would protect them.
Well, when you get a word from God like that, you’ve got to be absolutely sure you’re hearing him right haven’t you? But, full of faith, they went back, ministered openly, and the church continued to see God do amazing things.
Beautiful conversions, whole families coming to Christ and getting baptized, healings, demons being driven out, amazing provision, relief for the poor, incredible answers to prayer, the whole deal...
Today, that church has grown from being counted on the fingers of two hands to numbering about 2,200 people. Not one hair on Ezekiel’s father’s head has so far been harmed.
I found what Ezekiel said quite inspirational and really challenging. Don’t you? But it made me think; what would I have done in that situation?
How would I have responded to death threats from enemies of the gospel? Would I have put my personal safety and my precious family above Christ’s command to preach the gospel to all creation? What would you have done?
And then, I read the passage I am going to be speaking on today in Matthew 10, which is the conclusion to Jesus’ instruction to the twelve, preparing them for the mission he is about to send them on.
Last week, we saw that Jesus expects that, for some Christ-followers, faith in him will mean rejection, ostracism, bullying and worse by society in general. Michael gave us some moving examples of that.
But this week, the focus moves away from the public sphere to the intimacy of the home. Jesus is going to show that belonging to him will also often lead to friction and cooling in our family relationships. And we need to know that and be prepared for it.
Two Alternatives
All the way through Matthew’s Gospel, we find Jesus presenting us with a binary decision; a choice between two options.
According to Jesus in Matthew’s Gospel, you’re either on the wide road which leads to destruction, or the narrow one which leads to life. There’s no alternative route.
You’re either a healthy tree bearing good fruit or a bad one producing rotten fruit. There’s no third tree. You’re either building your house on the sand which ends in disaster, or on the rock which stands firm. There are no other houses.
You’re either like a wise bridesmaid who is watchful and ready and who gets in to the wedding reception, or like a sleepy, foolish one who runs out of oil and misses out. You’re either a sheep who gains eternal life, or a goat who goes away into eternal punishment.
Either God will say to you, “Well done” or the world will. But you cannot hear it from both.
Our passage this morning begins with yet another of these black and white choices; either you side with Jesus or you reject him. And the consequences are weighty and serious.
Jesus is absolutely clear and uncompromising about where our priorities should lie, and no one can say, “Well, no one told me, I didn’t know.”
So this is Jesus rounding off his coaching session for his twelve disciples as they prepare to go off on mission. Matthew 10.32-42:
Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.
Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.
‘I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Your enemies will be right in your own household!’
If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. [More stark contrasts, you notice].
Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me. If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God, you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs. And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.
Prayer…
Not Peace but a Sword
What we have just read together contains, surely, one of the top ten most surprising things Jesus ever said. “Don’t imagine,” he says, “that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.”
Some people think that Jesus came to set up a hippy colony where everyone holds hands in a circle, eats organic yoghurt and sings Kumbaya. He didn’t!
“I came not to bring peace, but a sword” he says. And whatever version you read that in, NIV, NLT, RSV, ESV, The Message… it comes out pretty much the same.
Is this the Jesus you know and love? Could this be the same man who tenderly touches the eyes of the blind to give them back their sight? Could these words come from the one who welcomes small children and commends them as role models?
Could this really be the same man who, as we saw just two weeks ago, has such huge compassion for the oppressed and bewildered crowds? Did not Isaiah prophesy that the Messiah would be called Prince of Peace?
Now he’s saying he came to bring a sword that causes painful family division. This is a side to Jesus that is usually airbrushed out of children’s Bibles. And it’s not an aspect you hear about much in sermons or worship songs either.
Jesus’ sword is not a literal flashing blade of steel. In fact, when Peter took up a sword to defend Jesus in Gethsemane, the Lord rebuked him and said, “Put it away Peter.” That’s not who we are.
Jesus goes on to explain here that he’s not talking about a weapon that kills, but rather an instrument that causes inevitable division. The sword that Jesus wields divides light from darkness, truth from lies, those who trust in him and those who trust in themselves.
Matthew 10 is a clear forewarning of the kind of friction and conflict that can arise when you start living as a Christian.
What impact does Jesus have on family life? In my time as a Christian, I’ve seen orphans and widows find a home. I’ve seen the lonely put in community by the grace of God. I’ve seen barren women become mothers. I’ve seen broken marriages get mended, and dysfunctional relationships get healed, and estranged children get restored to parents. When the Holy Spirit gets hold of a family, beautiful things can happen.
But it isn’t always hunky dory. In some orthodox Jewish families, if somebody becomes a Christian, they arrange a funeral and consider their family member dead.
Worse, there are parts of the world where parents arrange so-called honour killings for their own children if they convert to Christ.
The International Christian charity Open Doors reported in 2018 the story of a 14-year-old Ugandan girl named Susan Ithungu who refused to renounce Christ, even when locked away in a room and left to starve.
Her school had hosted a visiting speaker who told the teenagers about Jesus. As Susan heard about the God of love who came to earth to save her from her sins, she was convicted of her need of forgiveness, her heart was set on fire, and she gave her life to Christ.
But her father, a witchdoctor, was very angry about this, and he tried to stop her following Jesus. He barred her from going to church. He even threatened to kill both her and her brother if she didn’t stop worshiping Christ. But Susan refused to comply.
Then one day, her father took her into a room in the house and put a mat on the floor. He told her to sit on it and not move from it until she was willing to deny Jesus Christ. He didn’t return to that room for three months.
During that time, her brother would sneak water and an occasional fried banana into her room. After three months, neighbours began to wonder where she was, and Susan’s brother finally told them what was going on.
The neighbours called the police who came to the house and found her sitting in her own filth on the mat. She was barely alive. Dangerously undernourished, the bones in her legs had begun to become deformed by her posture and lack of exercise.
“When they opened the door,” she says, “I felt peace and I knew that God had sent me help.” She was rushed to hospital where she began to receive extensive treatment.
They asked her why she didn’t try to escape or even leave the mat. She said, “Because my father told me that if I ever left the mat, I would be denying Jesus.”
“Your enemies will be right in your own household!” says Jesus.
Since that time, Susan has had several operations, physiotherapy, and trauma counselling. She has learned to forgive her father. Her faith has grown stronger and more resilient.
“I cannot leave Jesus,” she says. “I decided not to leave him because he has given me eternal life and even if I died there [in that room], I was sure that I would go to be with the Lord. I thank God very much that I am still alive. He has watched over my life.”
But Why?
If you are at a loss to understand why Christians sometimes face such upsetting hostility from their own family members, v37-39 help to explain why. They speak of three new realities in a believer that those who reject Christ can become resentful of.
Verse 37 speaks about a new love. I remember hearing the testimony of a newly converted British woman, who loved reading the word of God and meeting Jesus in the Gospels. Her husband threw her Bible across the bedroom and said to her, “If you keep reading this rubbish, I will leave you.”
“If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.”
That sounds a bit extreme. But the point here is not that Christians should stop loving family members. Just in case you have been looking for an excuse to get your mother-in-law out of your life, or sever contact with your obnoxious teenager, or ditch your idle, unbelieving husband, this is not it.
This is about placing our love for Jesus above our love for any family member.
You might say, “But wait! Isn’t loving our family required by God?” The answer is yes. The fifth commandment says to honour your father and mother. And Jesus is not downgrading that at all. In fact, what Jesus says here is totally consistent with Old Testament law.
Jesus is saying in effect that the first four commandments; to love God above all others, to serve no idols (even family), to hallow his name and prioritise time for worship come before the fifth commandment on the list because they must take precedence.
People worship an idol when they turn a good thing into the greatest thing. If you value your children, or family, or work, or sport, or even success or money – great. Fine, enjoy them, they are good gifts from God for your delight.
But if you turn these good things into ultimate things, so that your whole life revolves around them, you have made them an idol. Family can become an idol.
As well as experiencing this new love, superior to all others, following Jesus also demands a new lifestyle, v38. And sometimes family members take exception to this as well.
What does it mean to take up your cross? People sometimes talk about their minor ailments or a spouse that snores at night as “the cross I have to bear,” but everyone knew what taking up a cross meant in Jesus’ day. The spectacle of men being led out with their crossbeam and marchedto their grisly fate was quite common.
It’s like the dreaded moment of truth on Death Row. The last appeal has failed. The chair is ready.
Jesus is saying that if you are one of his followers, get used to identifying with him publicly, facing family disapproval, and even rejection, because of him.
He is saying, you’ve got to put to death the idea of living for yourself. You’ve got to lay down your personal ambitions and ego and be ready to forego comfort and pleasure for the greater, eternal delight of belonging to him and knowing him.
The American Baptist writer and pastor John Piper once said, “If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full.”
New love, new lifestyle, and in v39 Jesus speaks about new longings. Again, having new longings, dreams and desires will cause offence to some of our loved ones.
What do we really long for? The more we live for comforts in this life, like popularity and financial security, the more we will discover how empty they are.
When we try to find meaning and direction and purpose outside of Jesus, we end up seeing how futile and pointless and empty it all is. Like a Penrose staircase, it leads nowhere.
The French existentialist philosopher Albert Camus said life is like the myth of Sisyphus, who was condemned by the gods to push a rock up a hill every day, only to see it roll back down again, and each day he would wake up to the same wearisome and pointless task. Camus’ only recommendation was to grind out this pointless existence with a smile on your face.
The quest for ultimate meaning and satisfaction in life, when we exclude Jesus from the centre of it, always ends in disappointment.
However rich you become; you can own a Ferrari, a castle with moat, a private jet, a luxury villa on Caribbean Island, and a superyacht. But when you die, you leave this earth the way you entered it; with nothing.
“If you cling to your life, you will lose it.”
I’ve conducted enough funerals in my time to know how pathetic the tributes can be of those who clung to this life. “Oh, he loved a pint, what a legend.” “Ah, she was so devoted to her 6 dogs. They meant everything to her.” “She met her idol David Beckham and got a selfie with him; it was the best day of her life.”
What Jesus says in these verses makes it seem like we’re giving so much up! But Jesus finishes in by talking about rewards.
Receive a prophet – receive Jesus himself. Receive a righteous person – receive a reward as great as theirs. Just give a cup of cold water to a disciple – you get a big reward.
However much we may suffer for Christ, the rewards for faithfulness are far, far beyond what anyone could ordinarily expect. That’s his promise, and his promise is sure.
Ending
Following Jesus is the most wonderful thing on earth. But that doesn’t mean it’s not costly sometimes. It often is.
When we talk about the following in the footsteps of Jesus, it’s easy to forget what his footsteps look like. They have nail holes in the middle.
Speaking of which, we’ve now reached the end of chapter 10. Next week, in the long run up to Easter, we’re going to be fast-forwarding to chapter 26, which takes us to the last week of Jesus’ life.
We’re going to walk together through his betrayal, his arrest, his trial, his passion, his death, his burial and his resurrection throughout February and March.
We’re going to explore together the most important question you will ever ask; why did Jesus die? And we’re going to reflect on the most important question you will ever answer; how am I personally going to respond to what happened on that cross?
After I asked Kathie to marry me, (she said yes by the way, and I think we can all agree that is evidence for belief in miracles), after proposing, I went out to buy her an engagement ring. I checked my bank account and found to my dismay that I had just 76 quid to my name. Even in 1982, £76 wasn’t that much money.
So, we went to a jeweller’s shop in Southend High Street and I said to her, “Look, I’ve only got £76, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to pick the best one you can find for that. We came across a simple ring with a tiny solitaire diamond, set in cheap 9 carat gold. £75.99. Kathie said, “That’s the one.”
So, I went in and bought it, and said, “You can keep the penny change.” Everything I had I gladly spent on that ring. I lavished my very last penny on her. She gets it all. Why? Because Kathie is the love of my life.
Over the years, I’ve looked at that little ring on her finger and thought, “We’ve got a bit more in the bank these days, I should treat her, I’ll get her a bigger, better, shinier, flashier, pricier, glitzier, blingier ring.”
But I never have done because I know Kathie would say, “I don’t want another ring. This one is irreplaceable, because it cost you everything you had.”
Jesus is not looking for elaborate and ostentatious displays of devotion to him from us today.
He beckons us forward to give him our heart. All of it. It’s why we share communion together every month. So let’s come to the Lord’s table now and re-establish him as first, above every other love, because he put us first when he went to the cross for us.
And Paul will lead us in communion now...
Sermon preached at King's Church Darlington, 28 January 2024
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