Why So Downcast? (Psalm 42.1-11)

A funeral sermon for Christian man who suffered with dementia in his last years

Names have been changed as an expression of care to the family.

It has been lovely to hear so many fond memories of Ken in the tribute(s) earlier. Ken lived a long life. He wanted to reach his century. And it’s a bit of a pity he just missed out by less than 3 years - but I think he was ready to go.

Ken has the distinction of being the first member of All Saints’ I ever saw. Two months before I came here for interview, Kathie and I travelled up from Paris to Edinburgh where our daughter was graduating from University. So we decided to stop off here, check the church out and see if it would be the kind of place that would suit us, were I to be offered the post.

As we drove up and down Yarm Road shortly before 10:30am, wondering where on earth this church actually was, I noticed this very tall and elderly man in a baseball cap driving his mobility scooter as if he were the Stig from Top Gear. I thought to myself “no one in their right mind would be out on that thing on a Sunday unless he was a Christian. I bet he’s a member of the church trying to get to the service on time.” And so it was.

Sadly, by the time I arrived here, the early stages of Ken’s dementia were already apparent. I never knew Ken the artist, Ken the librarian, Ken the guitarist or Ken the server of fine coffees, still less Ken the tennis player or Ken the gymnast.

I only really knew Ken as, most of the time, just a little bit stubborn (!) and he was just beginning to get confused about what day of the week it was. He never really recognised me I don’t think.

No matter; we loved Ken and wondered what we should do for the best and how we should support him and respect his independence and uphold his dignity as long as we could.

I am sad to say that in his last year Ken went quite deaf and, even though people visited him, he recognised them less and less and was frustrated that he couldn’t communicate all he wanted to. At times, Ken wondered if God had deserted him.

Between a third and a half of the 150 Psalms in the Bible are what we call laments. They seethe with the raw emotions of believers who feel just like Ken sometimes did in the last few years of his life.

If you read through the Psalms you can’t fail to notice how often the writer says things like: “God, where are you? Why do you seem so distant? Have you completely forgotten me? How long is this going to go on?”

These Psalms are conspicuous by their total absence of the British stiff upper-lip. We tend to put a mask on and say “I’m fine, thanks” even when we know we’re not. It’s almost a reflex in our culture.

But God’s word reserves a place of honour for people who tell it like it is. There is a hallowed place for tears and bewilderment in the experience of God’s people.

God could easily have said “I’m not having all this heartache and loneliness and doubt and disorientation in my book.” He could have kept just the happy Psalms in there, the ones we like to sing.

But I think he wanted us to know that when our world seems to be falling apart, there’s more in the songbook than Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam and All Things Bright and Beautiful. The believers’ blues are in there too.

Psalm 42 is one of these songs of lament. It’s a mournful song written by someone who seems to feel abandoned and alone.

For a couple of years, this was Ken’s song. Here are a few lines in a modern translation:

I wonder, “Will I ever make it—
arrive and drink in God’s presence?”
I’m on a diet of tears - tears for breakfast, tears for supper.
All day long people knock at my door,
Pestering, “Where is this God of yours?”

These are the things I go over and over,
emptying out the pockets of my life.
how I used to go to the house of God…

Here’s someone who remembers what it was like when he could get to church and be surrounded by the familiar support of loving friends. And now, it feels like that’s all gone. There’s just a spiritual thirst and it doesn’t feel like it can be satisfied. 

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?

Why so disturbed within me?
My soul is downcast within me…
Sometimes I ask God, “Why did you let me down?

His mood is low. His soul is troubled. His spirit is restless. His mind seems to play tricks on him. He imagines voices saying “Where’s this God of yours then?”

They’re out for the kill, these tormentors with their obscenities,
Taunting day after day, "Where is this God of yours?”

What I want to say today though is that God never forgot Ken. He watched over him in the visits of friends and loved ones. He remembered his promises to Ken in the attentive care of the staff at the Care Home. By the grace of God Ken lived to a ripe old age. Though all life’s ups and downs, God was just a prayer away.

And though the pain is real, there are moments in this Psalm when the mood lifts. A shaft of light breaks in.

By day the Lord directs his love,
at night his song is with me –
a prayer to the God of my life.

You see, Ken, the Lord is for you and always has been. His banner over you is love. You are precious and honoured in his sight. You have been given every spiritual blessing in Christ. You are special. You are crowned with honour. All God’s promises to you are “yes” in Christ.

The Psalmist gets a grip and tells himself off.

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.

So today we give thanks for the 97 years of Ken’s life, and to the God who mercifully sustained him in it.

He will keep all those who turn to him - not just in this life but also in the next.

As a Christian, I believe that. Some of my friends tell me that this life is all there is, and that there's no hope for anything else beyond the grave. They tell me that all we have to live for is the present moment, and nothing we do has any eternal significance.

It’s nothing new. It’s not as if it's a major new discovery arrived at by enlightened people a few years ago. In fact, the Bible written thousands of years ago also speaks about people who say “Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope.”

But Jesus Christ, by his death and resurrection, has defeated the power that deadens hope in the human soul.

How different life is when we put our faith and trust in Christ! That was Ken’s testimony. After he did that Alpha course, back in the 1990’s, he began to see in colour and 3D what had up till then been monochrome tones of grey.

With Christ, we know we aren't here by accident, but that God created us for a purpose, and that one day we will be with Him forever. Someone once said, “The two greatest days in a person’s life are the day they’re born and the day they find out why.”

Have you discovered why you’re here? Have you turned to Christ and put your faith and trust in Him for your salvation?

If you have, you can say, even when singing the gloomiest song in the darkest valley these words:

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.

Farewell, Ken. Until we meet again...

Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 8th May 2013