Well now, I’m going to say quite a bit about sex this morning.
I can see you’re just thrilled…
I’m not putting any pictures on the PowerPoint this morning by the way.
Perhaps I should take inspiration from a noted sex therapist who was asked to say a few words about the subject at an after dinner speech. So he stood up and said, “Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pleasure...” And then he sat down again.
Actually, even though we sometimes find sex difficult to talk about, most of us are fascinated by it. Apparently they found a big hole in the nudist colony wall The police are looking into it! Not surprisingly…
Public Attitudes to What the Church Says
You sometimes hear it said that the Church is just completely out of touch with reality. In fact, even the Archbishop of Canterbury had to admit as much only this week when he said that ordinary people would be unable to make sense of the decision at General Synod to not proceed with women bishops.
If you ask around, you can find plenty of people who think the Church has an image problem. People might talk about archaic language, boring music, antiquated buildings, redundant costumes, ridiculous structures and I could go on.
Many people think that the Bible’s teaching on sexual purity is hopelessly outdated. If you’re not married, just say no.
“But the world has moved on” people say. “We need to leave this kind of outdated morality behind.”
What is perceived as a “No sex please, we’re Christians” approach is dismissed as unreasonable. “It’s unhealthy” people say. Or worse, “It’s repressive.”
Some voices even within the church question how wise it is to persist with it, given how few people take it seriously in general society.
Consent and Non-Consent
When Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4.6 that “no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister” people, even outside the church, would generally concur I think.
Paul seems to be talking about persistent, unwanted advances, or some kind of exploitation - perhaps even abuse. And clearly, most people would agree that those things are not unacceptable.
But when we read in v3-6 that we should avoid sexual immorality, that we should learn to control our bodies and steer clear of passionate lust, some people ask “Why should we? As long as it’s between two consenting adults what’s wrong with it? Once again,” they say, “the church is out of touch with the real world.”
Let’s make sure we understand properly what the Bible has in mind in these verses. The word translated “sexual immorality” or in other versions “sexual promiscuity” or “fornication” is porneia in Greek from which we get “pornography.”
It’s not talking about all sex – God created sex, in the context of marriage, to be enjoyed and delighted in. What we have here though is an umbrella word basically meaning sex between two people who are not married to each other.
The thing is 1 Thessalonians was written to a community in the first century Roman Empire and a marked feature of life then, and specifically in Greece, where Thessalonica is located, was sexual permissiveness. Then, as now in the West, people did not see unmarried sex as a sin; it was just part of normal life.
Paul was writing to a world similar to ours – except actually most people today would view it as worse. In those days, prostitutes were openly paraded and were even a central feature of temple worship. If you were lower down the social scale, you were the submissive partner and exploitation and even abuse (both homosexual and heterosexual) were seen as fair enough. That was just your place in society’s pecking order. Nobody really questioned it or challenged it.
But in this, as in many other areas of life, the first Christians refused to take their standards from contemporary society. Always beware when people say the church should be more like the world.
Generally it’s like saying the lifeboat would be better off if it had more water inside it.
Why does Paul draw boundaries here about what’s OK in the bedroom and what’s not? People might say that, to be perfectly frank, it’s none of his business. Why should any Christian leader interfere with what consenting adults choose to do? Aren’t there more important priorities like feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless?
God’s Will for Us
Paul gives two reasons for what he says. Firstly, sexual purity is what God wants for us.
In v2 he says “you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.” In other words, “Remember, this comes from the top.”
In v3, he repeats it “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified.” So it’s not about what Paul wants, this is what God wants.
He says it a third time, just for good measure in v8: “Anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.”
What does God want? Verse 3 “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified.” “Sanctified” (some versions use the word “holy”) doesn’t mean “pious” or “religious” – it literally means to be set apart for a special purpose.
If you’ve got 100 apples and you place 20 in a box, those apples are holy.
If you’re sanctified, you’ll stand out from the crowd; so what it’s saying here is that God wants you and me to be conspicuous, to catch the eye, to be different.
Why does God want that for us? Because in his wisdom, as our designer and creator, he knows what is best for us and because he loves us he wants us to avoid what he knows is harmful to us.
Let me illustrate for you using independent research, why God’s wisdom urges us away from human wisdom which is just doing as we please sexually.
Human wisdom says who needs a bit of paper? God’s wisdom replies “Because marriage, represented by a signed certificate, is the most stable sexual relationship there is.
The Office of National Statistics reports that there were almost 120,000 divorces in the UK in 2010 - three times the number recorded in 1967.
The divorce rate for married couples is lower among those who saved themselves until their wedding night than for those who didn’t. According to a survey of those who were married for the first time in the 1980s, there is a 60% higher probability of divorce in the first eight years for those who lived together before marriage than for those who didn’t. 60%!
That’s a lot of pain. When the Bible talks about husband and wife being united together as one flesh the image is like two pieces of paper being glued together, the glue being the covenant or the promises.
When a marriage breaks up, because of adultery for example, it’s not the glue you tear – it’s the paper, and adults and children alike suffer pain and grief.
Last year, the Family Planning Association reported that the UK has the highest teenage birth rate and teenage abortion rate in Western Europe. That is another consequence of sexual immorality and that is another good reason why God wants us to be set apart.
An American radio presenter called Paul Harvey made this comment on one of his programmes. He said, “You know, in every Holiday Inn hotel. there is an AIDS prevention kit in the bedside cabinet drawer. It is called the Gideon’s Bible.”
There were over 383,000 cases of sexually transmitted diseases diagnosed in the UK in 2009, the latest year I could find figures for. That’s a 38% increase on the figure for the year 2000. That’s a lot of Gideon’s Bibles staying in the drawer! But 383,000 STDs are another consequence of sexual immorality and that is another good reason why God wants us to be set apart.
I’m sorry for bombarding you with statistics but I need to say that I am not just voicing opinions – I believe the wisdom of the Word of God is supported by independent research and statistics and the numbers are saying that the Bible is right. The so-called sexual revolution has not brought about happiness and health and an end to repression – just the opposite.
Can anyone honestly say that our secular society, is better off than, say, 50 years ago – a period when the Bible has been largely removed from schools and attacked in the media?
So firstly, God knows what makes for our happiness, and that’s why he calls us to live holy lives. He wants to live well and avoid heartache.
God’s Warning for Us
But there’s another reason and it comes in v6-8. If v3-6 are about God’s will for us, v6-8 are about God’s warning to us.
This is what it says: “The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God.”
Basically, what it’s saying here is that this sort of sin – and in fact the Bible says all sin - has spiritual consequences for us. We may not like to hear that.
But God is holy, holy, holy - and righteous and just and true, and even one sin would be enough to banish us from his presence forever. When Isaiah encountered God in the Old Testament he was so overwhelmed by God’s breath-taking holiness that he thought he was going to die. The Bible warns in Hebrews 10:31, “It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” That’s scary…
It’s much more comforting to think that God is not that bothered, but that is not what the Bible says.
The truth written down here is this; if people block their ears to God’s word, they actually refuse God himself. Let me read that verse again: “anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God.”
Whenever we think “no thanks” to what the Bible teaches us, we actually say “no thanks” to the Lord, full-stop.
Just a few months ago, a respected, high profile Christian leader entered into a wrong relationship, deserted his wife and children, leaving them in financial difficulties and abandoned the ministry he had spent years building up. I don’t sit in judgement over him. There, but for the grace of God, go I.
My point is this: Not surprisingly, that man didn’t carry on attending his local church or start attending another one. That tells me quite a lot about where he is with God right now. “Anyone who rejects this instruction… rejects God.”
Adultery is about what feels right for me at this particular moment in time. That’s the wisdom of the world. It says, “my body is mine to do as I see fit instead of belonging to my wife or husband.”
I pray he will be restored. Because, however low we fall, with the grace of God there is always a way back, as we’ll see in a moment.
The wisdom of the world says that my virginity is mine to give away as I see fit. Godly wisdom says my virginity is a precious gift that I keep to give away to my future wife or husband. And Godly wisdom bears fruit.
For ten years, Dr. Nancy Moore Clatworthy, a sociologist from Ohio State University, has been researching couples who have lived together unmarried. To her surprise, the data she compiled found that the couples who had lived together before marriage argued with each other more often than couples who had not. And the rate of marriage breakdown was higher as well than for couples who had not lived together before marrying.
Is sexual sin worse than other sins? No. Possibly we attach a greater stigma to sexual sin but the Bible doesn’t because all sin separates us from God.
What Paul says here about the consequences of promiscuity is also true of jealousy, prayerlessness, theft, unbelief, laziness, greed and 101 other things besides.
In 1983 Billy Graham appeared in a TV show with the actress Joan Collins. The interviewer asked “Billy, were you aware that Joan has appeared in Playboy magazine? And Billy Graham replied, “Yes, and I’ve seen it. Someone showed it to me in the barber shop.” And then he went on to preach the gospel.
Even in 1983 you could scarcely avoid seeing erotic material from time to time. Now, with the Internet, it’s much more prevalent and easily accessed.
I like that story about Billy Graham though – it reminds me that we can’t completely remove ourselves from the world. But the gospel is good news and it sets us free from the lust that wants to grab hold of us and take us away from everything that is healthy for our soul.
Nobody here – and I mean no one – will be able to stand before God and boast of our purity and righteousness before him. Remember what Jesus said, “Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
With that kind of standard, who among us is is ever going to make the grade? Only Christ’s perfect record is good enough – he who was tempted in every way just as we are - yet was without sin.
And his perfect, unblemished record is what he gives to you whenever you come to him in repentance and faith. The Bible says that God loves us. When sinless Jesus died on the cross, all our sins - all of them - were placed on him, and he took the death sentence and experience of hell we deserve.
Believe Christ died for you. The Jesus who saves you is the same Jesus who sanctifies you. Invite him to be Lord of your life today, no matter how many times you have before, and when you do, receive God’s promise to forgive you, and restore you completely and fully.
Living in Love and Humility
Briefly, Paul goes on in v9 and following to say this: “Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all the brothers and sisters throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, dear friends, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
I like what William Hendriksen says in his commentary about this passage; He writes, “Fanatics, busybodies and loafers, nearly every church has them.” He sounds really fed up doesn’t he?!
I’m glad to say that I don’t find All Saints’ a refuge for fanatics, busybodies and loafers! Actually, Paul is saying that this church is full of love and that’s one of the things I really appreciate about All Saints’ too.
Not that any church should rest on our laurels – twice in these verses Paul urges his readers to keep on doing the right thing more and more.”
Ending
Finally, this thought; the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross once said “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Let the pure and holy fire of Christ burn in your heart. It is God’s will for you to be holy.
Sermon preached at All Saints' Preston on Tees, 25th November 2012
